The following meetings were great - see blogs about them...
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1) San Francisco,

Dinner on Thursday, July 10th, 5 - 9 p.m. Mexican: El Delfin, Mission




2) Los Angeles, Saturday, July 12th, 6-9 p.m. - Huntingdon Beach

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RSVP for the following by private messaging me your cell phone number so we can coordinate in case we don't hook up at the right time.

3) Toronto, Friday, July 25, 7 pm - Verona Ristorante  5:00 -8 pm

Address is:  335 King Street West.  Toronto, On.  M5V 1J5

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4) Edinburgh, Saturday, August 9, afternoon/evening
*** sorry, this meet is canceled - unless someone else wants to do it. ***

 I'm not going to Scotland. 
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I've been reflecting lately on the way that a friendship that is not really just a friendship but not really anything more... can be a form of limbo. Not a place one wants to hang out for long.

What is it that makes it difficult?

I've decided it mostly has to do with expectations, with attitudes.

A new motto for me, perhaps: "Attitude is everything.".

Because, you know, life is really, really awesome for me right now. It has never been better, richer, more exciting, more full of cool surprises and serendipity.

My  Kumon afterschool math and reading learning centre is flourishing, new students enrolling one after another. Students are going away with their holiday packages too so the pace is quieter and more relaxed.

The International_association  of Kumon Franchisees, of which I am the president, is growing apace, and the regional meetings all over North America are enjoyable, motivating and give me opportunities to travel extensively this summer and meet many of my Gaian friends. Plus, I am very excited about my vacation in Scotland in only a month (where does the time go?) and the big trip to Japan in early December for the Kumon 50th Anniversary International conference.

I have been busily booking tickets for these trips and travel accommodations, and at the same time have had lots and lots of time to visit with my Gaian friends and other friends online, on the phone and in person. And to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine - heading off in a few minutes to the Montreal jazzfest

Church is smooth. My children are well, doing fine and happy. The mortgage is paid off, I get a weekly massage, life is so good!

So, the only small glitch has been not being in a relationship. Surely not a big deal. But if you have expectations on a friendship that may just be a friendship it can cause so much roller coasterness when all you want to do is savour and delight in each moment.

So, how do we escape the feeling that love stinks?

How about learning just to enjoy what is?

How about being happy when you are with a friend and happy when you are alone, when you can drink in the silence?

How about accepting each person where he or she is without needing him or her to be different?

How about facing each day as a new and tremendous adventure? As a "present" to be opened with joy and anticipation, enjoying each serendipity that happens along?

How about being open to friendships with or without benefits, whatever that means, no questions asked, no pressure?

Thank U!

Brain gym time!

Nicole said Jul 5, 8:15 AM:

 
Pretty Cool

( Don't ask me!  I don't know how it's done!!)  
 
———————————————————————————————————

Read out loud the text inside the triangle below.


More than likely you said, 'A bird in the bush,'! and. …….
if this IS what YOU said, then you failed to see
that the word THE is repeated twice!
Sorry, look again.

Next, let's play with some words.
What do you see?

In black you can read the word GOOD, in white the word EVIL (inside each black letter is a white letter).      Now, what do you see?



You may not see it at first, but the white spaces read the word optical, the blue landscape reads the word illusion. Look again! Can you see why this painting is called an optical illusion?

What do you see here?



This one is quite tricky!
The word TEACH reflects as LEARN.

Last one.
What do you see?

You probably read the word ME in brown, but…….
when you look through ME you will see YOU!

Do you need to look again?   Test Your Brain
This is really cool. The second one is amazing so please read all the way though.  
                               
ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST    

Count every ' F ' in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS…

(SEE BELOW)

HOW MANY ?
WRONG, THERE ARE 6 – no joke.
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.

The reasoning behind is further down.
The brain cannot process 'OF'.
 
Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!
Anyone who counts all 6 'F's' on the first go is a genius.  

                 
Three is normal, four is quite rare.

Send this to your friends.
It will drive them crazy.!
And keep them occupied
For several minutes..!
 

 
 
look at the spinning woman and if she is turning right your right side of your brain is working . If she is turning left your left side of your brain is working . If she turns both ways for you then you have a 160 or better IQ
 

More Brain Stuff . .  From Cambridge University .

Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty  uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig  to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.   Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on  !!  

Warning: This blog reveals the true natures of two of the most addicted devoted Gaians. Proceed with caution...

So there I was at 3 pm Pacific time, peacefully sitting outside the SFO airport, waiting for Samme.


And waiting. And waiting. I had had several messages before from him assuring me he would be there, so I had no fears or impatience. I simply and calmly and happily waited.

Finally I got a text message from him asking which carrousel I was near. I texted back that I was outside at United 6 (I had texted this previously :) ). A few minutes later, he was in front of me, beaming happily.

Now, you have to remember I had no idea what he looked like so I spent a few seconds looking cautiously at him, asking tentatively "Samme"? This always seems to happen to me, people know exactly what I look like, but do I know them? No! Anyway.... sigh


Oh, is this supposed to be factual? Ah, that's right, so sorry, clearing throat, no, i cannot tell a lie, Samme is good-looking but this is not him. He is camera shy so wouldn't let me take pictures. So if you want to know what he looks like, you'll have to come out and meet him. :)

So I rush up to him and we have a big, warm Gaia hug. We're laughing happily both chattering at once explaining how we had trouble connecting. I settle the question in my mind about how his name was pronounced (Sammy), and ask him where his car is. He motions vaguely off into the distance, grabs one of my bags (I travel very light, I had my laptop bag on my back and he was pulling my travel bag on its wheels) and we were off in a cloud of turtle dust...

After finding our way to the ginormous parking lot level 2 where he was parked, we began wandering as in the desert, looking for his car - section A/B it was but for many minutes we walked among Ds, Cs and Bs... I almost started to disbelieve in the existence of the A/B section when we finally spotted the beginning of it, and not long after found his car.

He activated his GPS and I tried to input relevant info into it. Neither of us had the address of the B and B handy, of course, so he put in a nearby parking lot and it started giving us the directions... by the time we found ourselves on Haight, we were both really wishing we had the address. After driving up and down a bit trying to guess where it was, he gave in, parked the car and looked up the phone number of the B and B he had saved on his cell. I called, got the address and shortly thereafter we were actually there!


so sorry, Doug, haven't found these legs yet but I live in hope LOL!


We also saw haight street buskers a bit like these

Wow, they weren't kidding when they said it was in the heart of hippyland! Psychedelic stores of all kinds, colours and descriptions on all sides, Haight Street is a delight for the senses.

I was keen to explore, but once I was checked in (thanks to Nishtha for the recommendation, it's a delightful place!), both Samme and I had only one thought - food! Fortunately there was a good Indian restaurant just across the street, so we parked (can you believe you can only park for a maximum of 30 minutes there! Samme had to just put in the max and hope for the best)  and went to the restaurant. Again, in our talent for getting lost, we both walked right past the restaurant and had to circle back...

The food was delicious, spiced just right, and you can guess what we spent most of our time talking about. Gaia. Right. We went back to the car, grateful that no ticket awaited us. We set out hoping the GPS would direct us properly to the Golden Gate lookout - traffic was not great and the route was very very roundabout so we had lots of time to talk about Gaia again. Meanwhile, I kept getting emails and text messages and shout outs from a roughly equal mix of Gaians and people from my Montreal life - clients, family related stuff - Samme patiently and politely ignoring the fact that every couple of minutes, in the middle of our discussion, I am Blackberrying away, talking to myself... what a nice guy! :)

We did get to the Golden Gate Bridge, and it was just as awesome as I remembered from the last time I visited, at the age of 8, from a visit during the year I was living in Vancouver. 




By the time we took a few pictures it was freezing - typical San Francisco weather - and I was begging to get back in the car. We drove around for a while, me alternating as before between admiring the sights, chatting with Samme and Blackberrying, and he dropped me back to the B and B where I settled in for the night, Gaiaing my way to sleep... 

My second day in San Fran was very very long and full of contrasts. It began as usual with me quietly gaiaing - in fact, i spent an hour in the global peace meditation which was wonderful! Then a delightful breakfast downstairs (where I will go shortly, it's that time once more!) here at the B and B, and after a chat with the desk person to get all the details, I sallied forth ready to adventure on an SF bus on my quest to get to my meet-up with Samme and Nishtha.

It was surprisingly easy and fast. I found myself on Market St and 4th and spontaneously decided to walk the rest of the way instead of transferring, cause I was very early, the day was warm and pleasant, and I wanted to feel the city. I enjoyed the walk very much, passed the new Jewish Contemporary Museum in fascination and peeked in at a number of other museums.

At the right time, I arrived at Brannan and Delancey, the Crossroads Cafe:

The Crossroads Cafe, run by the Delancey Street Foundation, is a bright, modern coffee house, art gallery, and bookstore located near the Embarcadero, south of Market.

here for an interesting article about the cafe

I sat with a delightful passion fruit and berry drink outside on the lovely patio, looking out across the street at the water, waiting for Nishtha. Didn't have to wait long!


We hugged and immediately dove into a long conversation where I learned most of her life story. She is an amazing storyteller, and when she was a child growing up near the Catskills, she held court in the playground, regaling her classmates with tales of India, like Sarah in the movie A Little Princess.

We talked about the effects of racism and prejudice, and she shared how she was first drawn into high powered, 90 hour a week management work with Fortune 500 companies, and then abruptly left just after 9/11. By the time she was into the tale of her seven month odyssey around the world to find herself, Samme had arrived, and was just as engrossed as I in the tales.

She explained the only proper way to circumnavigate the globe from NA is to go west, beginning in the Cook Islands, to "decompress totally". Then you cross the date line and go to New Zealand - lose a day but keep almost the same time of day, so no jet lag!
 
She shared how in the northern part of India no one would believe she couldn't speak Hindi so they wouldn't speak English to her and she felt more alone than ever before. Samme piped up, "I have a title for your next book about this. 'Stranger in My Own Land'"

Thus we discovered Samme's tremendous talent for coming up for book titles about our lives :) So, now you know where to go if you need one...

She was able to take refuge in the bosom of her extended family in southern India after that and was soothed and cossetted to her heart's delight, though it was intense in terms of making sure she had chai with everyone and didn't miss anyone and hurt feelings.

Italy was a tremendous experience for her, so much learning of the language and culture. She had a wonderful time touring Europe and spent quite a while in the UK before having to rush back to NY to be in time to attend a wedding.

Nishtha delighted us with many other stories, but the best was the story of how she took that fateful taxi ride and met her own true love, Mario. No, no, I will not tell you. You'll have to hear her tell it herself! So romantic...

As always time flew by and it was time to say goodbye. After hugs and consultations all around, Samme dropped me in Chinatown so I could visit Anita Tom's Kumon Centre.



You have to go down to basement level, and then the centre is very spacious, well organised and well run. I stayed till 7 30 observing and answering emails and IMs alternately, and then went out to supper with Anita and talked and talked about IAKF and many things. It was a great meeting of minds. She took me back to the bed and breakfast where of course, instead of sleeping, i stayed up way too late talking on the yahoo phone and internet chatting with ... ah, that would be telling. :)

Yesterday was a day of contrasts. I awoke too early with the U2 song with or without you
going through my head and a sense of deep sadness and conflictness in my belly. No, don't worry, it's ok now, I feel much better now. I was able to chat with three of my Gaia friends who gave me good advice and helped me ground myself again. After my shower and breakfast I decided to explore Haight St, which led me to Golden Gate Park.


While it is a lovely park, and at first I just wandered in a sense of contented wonder, it soon became apparent that there are a lot of homeless people there. The more I saw, sitting by their stuff staring into space, huddling in groups talking, or sleeping oblivious, the more disturbed I became. Just before leaving the park one of them shouted at me, "Hey! Go away!" and suddenly my unease became fear. I walked out of the park quickly and was back on Haight St.

It took me a while before I relaxed. I looked curiously at the many little shops on Upper Haight and then realised it was lunch, so I went to a local Mexican restaurant and got a veggie burritto and a mango drink. Good food but I was still unsettled, I couldn't open the bottle and felt inept, someone helped me ... I was glad to be finished and out. All that food made me sleepy so after a short look around the stores I went back to the Red Vic to rest.

Unfortunately instead of sleeping I went online and got into another conversation with my friend, which was very difficult. It ended up being good but it drained me and I excused myself and slept. So much for the visit to the Kumon centre I had planned for yesterday afternoon.

Got up at the time when I was supposed to be meeting Nishtha and Doug at the restaurant. So, couldn't bus it as originally planned and went out to flag down a taxi. Sadly, it didn't work out for me as with Nishtha's story of the day before, where she found true love in a taxi. :) The taxi driver was completely silent and preoccupied.


When we arrived, he looked at the restaurant and remarked, "It's closed." With a shock I saw that he was right. Well, what could I do? I told him I was getting out there anyway. I parked myself in front of the place and waited a short time for Nishtha, who arrived, as is her wont, on foot. She is so very green! I admire her commitment to the environment very much. We laughed over our predicament, this restaurant that had so unexpectedly closed for a week, and after some consultation together and with her partner Mario decided to go over to a nearby restaurant, La Traviata, and to leave a note for Doug explaining where we were. We didn't have his cell number.

Note to self: make sure you have a cell number for every future Gaia meet attendee before the meet up.  :)


The ambiance and service and quality of food at this place are unbelievable, and prices are surprisingly good. As you can see the walls are covered with photos - of opera stars. The music played is from operas. All in all delightful.

This time instead of Nishtha telling me her life story the tables were turned as I badly needed to talk, so I did. Talk and talk and talk, and Nishtha used her best life coach skills (she is a really great coach! highly recommend her if you are in the Bay area and need someone) to help me understand my life and relationships better.

We picked at our food as we talked. As good as it was, neither or us had much appetite, so asked for doggy bags for most of what was on our plates.

By 8:30 pm, I was just saying to Nishtha that it looked like Doug was not going to show, when I happened to notice that an hour before he had sent an email to my Gaia inbox. Oh darn! He had not seen the note but included his cell number in the message and mentioned he was waiting nearby hoping to hear from us. So I called and with great relief we arranged for him to meet us at La Traviata.


It was so wonderful to get a big warm hug from Doug and to experience his energy and enthusiasm. We decided to go on a long walk together, find a taco for Doug to eat, and talk together along the way. It was perfect, but again, I kept having to face that other side of San Francisco as we passed the police arresting someone, and a guy in gaudy clothes playing a guitar who cried out as we passed, "Every day is Hallowe'en for me!"

We walked back to Doug's car, and he dropped Nishtha back home first. Got a glorious view of the city from her hilly perch. As we drove back to the Red Vic, we had a great heart to heart about my tendency to love everyone I meet, and I felt so affirmed in that, that it was ok, that I didn't have to stop myself from loving but just had to get more relaxed about it and release expectation and entanglement. He was the best help I could have had, in a day full of help from all sides.

Just before we reached the B and B, we saw those legs we had been joking about looking for, and had to laugh. They are near the corner of Haight and Ashbury, as the photo title says :)

My last impression typified the day. A big warm hug from Doug, and two young street people, the woman moving on crutches because she only had one leg, talking in loud cynical voices about how useless and fake their parents are. A man picking through the garbage in front of the B and B and small huddles of street people talking and laughing up and down Haight.

Of course, that was not the end of the day. A sensible person would have looked at the time, 20 minutes to 11 pm and said, "I won't go online because it's too late." Instead I got online and started to talk to him again. Fortunately, we had another good talk, that didn't go on too long. And so to bed.
 



 

Friday: began the day by checking out of the Red Victorian and being picked up by Anita Tom, my kind new Kumon instructor friend who has the Chinatown centre. We went to the funeral of the mother of another instructor, which turned out to be all in Chinese with Buddhist chanting. Fascinating, in a slow and surreal sort of way. Long - about two hours.

Afterward, I went along with the kumon staff who had attended the funeral to the San Francisco branch office, where I spent time on the computer catching up a  bit with Gaia and having a snack. Then visited the corporate Kumon centre, where I observed many aspects diverging from good instruction, which was unfortunate, given it's the company owned centre and should be the model for the area. I tried to help the kids and staff as best as I could in the little time I had before my flight to LA, took a cab (25 dollars for about a 10 minute drive. Wow!) to the airport, ate Burger King veggie burger meal and arrived in LAX.

A fellow franchisee and IAKF member picked me up from the airport and took me to Julie's place in Huntingdon Beach. Julie has a lovely apartment, immaculate, cozy and - to my suprise - with a guest suite including my own bathroom. I sure felt spoiled! We had a lovely chat and then gratefully went to sleep.

Saturday - after a relaxed early morning on Gaia and chatting with Julie, went out to breakfast with my friend Ray, whom i have known for about 6 years via his daily email jokes to his list, private emails back and forth and occasional phone calls. He's a lot of fun, very relaxed, great sense of humour. We went to the Huntingdon Beach Pier and enjoyed breakfast at the local Internation House of Pancakes.  We walked around the pier for a bit... it was fun watching the surfers...

We couldn't see the (Santa)_Catalina_Island, though it lies only 22 miles offshore, because of the famous LA haze.

Ray was very kind to drop me a long way from there to my IAKF meeting in Glendora that afternoon. Though there was only a small attendance, those there were very enthusiastic and asked a lot of good questions.

Unfortunately, taking a taxi back to Julie's place didn't work out so well. The driver was hopelessly lost and the $95 trip turned into a $120 trip (the meter showed $195 so the driver insisted on more, and I was too tired to argue). By the time I got back there it was too late to go out and I was too discouraged. So another early night. Julie was very sweet about it, as always.

Sunday:    Julie and I went to breakfast at a perfectly delightful 60's natural foods place and then went to the local beach to stretch out on the sand and get our feet in the ocean for a long beach walk. She was determined that I have a real HB experience and it did not disappoint. We were reluctant to leave but I had to be at my next meeting, so we headed to Irvine and found the Kumon centre. Then Julie had an inspiration - since we were early, why not have a decadent milkshake at Ruby's? Boy, was it good...

The meeting was a great success, lots of energy and enthusiasm and new members, and then it was time to get back to the airport to fly back to Montreal. I was very early so I had a good supper and started to IM with a Gaia friend by Google chat, listening to my headphones... in a daze, I missed my flight and went to arrange another, which left at 11 pm and actually meant i had one less connecting flight. So it worked out.

But while waiting, got into a final chat and got a terrible shock which left me stunned and sleepwalking onto the plane, thinking about changes I would have to make to travel plans for the UK... Fortunately no crying baby this time and I managed to sleep some, got off in Chicago and got on another plane. As it taxied toward the runway, the shock started to wear off and I cried, silently, looking out the window so my seat mate wouldn't see. I cried again when seeing the dear familiar outlines of my island home, gratefully but so tired and heartsore.

What a trip of contrasts. So much good and a bit of bad; many wonderful people; joy and pain and pleasure and heartache and stress and delight...

Montreal Meet, Sunday, July 6: (next meet: Sunday September 7!)

First I wanted to blog about what a wonderful time I had with Dovvski and Ivan in Montreal a week and a half ago. I had gotten so discouraged I almost canceled it. So glad I didn't. We met at  the Cafe L'Etranger (which Dovvski had recommended in the first place!) and had a wonderful time beginning to get to know each other, and hearing Ivan's ideas about being a "social entrepreneur" www.communityearth.org/SEF

Here's an idea of some potential projects:

 Help Me Choose
one of these
5 PROJECTS
1. Direct Democracy
2. Arbo Fonto
3. Peer Certification
4. Electronic Paper
5. Malaria Eradication

2. Toronto Meet

Toronto, Friday, July 25, 7 pm - Verona Ristorante  5:00 -8 pm

Address is:  335 King Street West.  Toronto, On.  M5V 1J5

 

Everyone, there has been a lot of talk lately about how if we had more input from the community the Q and R would be more meaningful.

I hear the Gaia Team is working on improvements (see the Think Tank thread on this topic) but in the meantime wouldn't it be fun to brainstorm a question of the day and blog about it?

So, what would your question of the Day be, if you were to write it?

I'm having a bad day so a few jump to mind like -

How do you recover from a total melt down emotionally? :) or

What constructive alternatives to strangling someone who bugs the crap out of you can you come up with when you're having the day from hell?

Ok, you get the picture. Now, go for it! I await Gaian community creativity. LOL!

And what do we call it? instead of Questions and Reflections, you would say.... ?

Of course, today mine would be de profundis - usually means from hell :) but literally from the depths...

hey, that's not bad, we are looking for really profound and meaningful stuff... hmmm

I will be leaving on August 1 for England!

So exciting...

I have narrowed it down to three meet up possibilities, depending on who is out there :

1) Hebden Bridge, Aug 5 or 6, with Jon/Integral Pod folks
2) Cardiff, Aug 7 or 8, with Panwithin and anyone else...
3) London, Aug 9 - anyone in London? :)

Please send me a private message if you are interested in any of the above so we can coordinate closer to the time.

Thanks!

Nicole