Help
Sign In
depths
June 2009 
our first webchat
Posted on Mar 7th, 2008
by 
Nicole
Nicole
dear one, about 12 hours ago we were chatting together via skype for the first time. it was your very first experience with skype, and considering the difficulties and awkwardness of you having to deal with a public setting (internet cafe because of having no computer), you did amazingly well.
i was so very delighted to see you at last. you had seen a picture of me but i only had your very vague and self-disparaging description to go on. not only do i find you good looking, but most importantly, the qualities i already have seen in your heart and through your blogs and all our mails and chats together are written on your face for the world to see. Your openness, kindness, compassion, delight, appreciation, focus... i could go on and on but i know that when you will read this you will already be blushing up a storm so i will have mercy :)
i was touched by how you asked if we could google chat instead of talking, since it was a public setting. i understood how exposed you must have felt. and yet it was still so wonderful, because i could always hear you typing, or how you would mutter under your breath in concentration as you prepared in your mind what you would say, and how your delighted and delightful laugh would peal out freely once you'd read what i'd written. or even how you would sigh... i felt that i could almost feel your breath on my cheek, the touch of your hand on mine.
oh my sweeting, it was the shortest hour i have spent in weeks. (note to tom: time is really, really elastic in these kinds of situations. you must remember back when you were courting your wife...) i could hardly believe it when you said time had run out. but i am so looking forward to talking to you again in a day and a half.
we have had as yet very little time together so i have no yet shared much of my favourite Rilke with you. Here is a lovely one...
i was so very delighted to see you at last. you had seen a picture of me but i only had your very vague and self-disparaging description to go on. not only do i find you good looking, but most importantly, the qualities i already have seen in your heart and through your blogs and all our mails and chats together are written on your face for the world to see. Your openness, kindness, compassion, delight, appreciation, focus... i could go on and on but i know that when you will read this you will already be blushing up a storm so i will have mercy :)
i was touched by how you asked if we could google chat instead of talking, since it was a public setting. i understood how exposed you must have felt. and yet it was still so wonderful, because i could always hear you typing, or how you would mutter under your breath in concentration as you prepared in your mind what you would say, and how your delighted and delightful laugh would peal out freely once you'd read what i'd written. or even how you would sigh... i felt that i could almost feel your breath on my cheek, the touch of your hand on mine.
oh my sweeting, it was the shortest hour i have spent in weeks. (note to tom: time is really, really elastic in these kinds of situations. you must remember back when you were courting your wife...) i could hardly believe it when you said time had run out. but i am so looking forward to talking to you again in a day and a half.
we have had as yet very little time together so i have no yet shared much of my favourite Rilke with you. Here is a lovely one...
Love Song
Rainer Maria Rilke
How can I keep my soul in me, so that
it doesn't touch your soul? How can I raise
it high enough, past you, to other things?
I would like to shelter it, among remote
lost objects, in some dark and silent place
that doesn't resonate when your depths resound.
Yet everything that touches us, me and you,
takes us together like a violin's bow,
which draws one voice out of two separate strings.
Upon what instrument are we two spanned?
And what musician holds us in his hand?
Oh sweetest song.
Translated by Stephen Mitchell
Access: PublicTagged with: skype, webchat, first, love song, rilke, resonate, depths, one voice, sweetest song, stephen mitchell
what a precious hour, Nicole. I'm glad for you : )
well damnit…court your heart out.
ah, shea-bird, yes, i so relate…
crow, thank you! i'm glad for me too! and glad for him :)
tom, i plan to! given half a chance… lol which is about all i have at the moment given the miles between us and the obstacles in both our lives.
not complaining though. it helps to restrain my otherwise headlong rush where angels fear to tread, and makes me take it slow enough to smell the roses and allow affection to develop at its natural pace.
very, very happy, very much embracing Life and Love! hugs to you all.
I keep happy by reading stories like yours and allowing myself to except love. (1st and 2nd kind). How do you deal with the amount of physical space between you?
Your post reminds me of my love and I talking in the beginning of this phase of our relationship. I also love the picture and poem.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful hour.
Ethan