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What have you been thinking about recently?

Posted on Feb 1st, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for February 01, 2008:

Fractal-jun19_1300_fullness
What a question! I have been intensely focused on so many things over the past weeks - re-connecting with the people I love dearly here on gaia and in the rest of my life; the new pod I created yesterday (see yesterday's blog entry); scads of action items related to the International Association of Kumon Franchisees (IAKF); embracing my music again; many, many things related to my learning centre and students, including an awards ceremony I am planning for March 16; the well-being of my children and all that entails; self care items like getting back into regular massage and getting a haircut; computer woes; maintenance items  that have been put off too long...

A partial list, but it gives you an idea :)
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relationships - complex or simple?

Posted on Feb 2nd, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Amore_lg

Image credit - Amore by A. Andrew Gonzalez

Yesterday over lunch I was explaining to a friend who is a therapist and whom I hadn't seen in nearly a year where I was in terms of my relationship with my partner. As always, she listened very well and at one point said something like, "Don't you wish that you were back in your twenties when love seemed so simple?" I responded that I didn't have any wish to return to my twenties or thirties, but I think I know what she meant. Then, I "knew" that my unhappiness in my marriage could be solved by (going to therapists/reading the right books/"communicating" etc etc). I knew that in another life, if I had made a different choice and found the "right" person, we would live happily ever after.

It's been 9 years since I was separated from my husband and 8 since I understood we could never reconcile. 7 years with my partner, and 6 since I really woke up to the limitations of the relationship. I have broken off with him more times than I can count. My family and ex-therapist and many of my friends do not understand why I am still with him.


Is it simple or complex? In some ways, I think it's very simple. I've given up on finding a better match, I have settled for convenient, comfortable and (in some ways) easy, though I promised myself 9 years ago that I would never do that. I have mirrors around me, my closest male friends, who constantly remind me without saying anything that I could experience so much more depth in a relationship.


But I feel no urgency to change my situation. I suppose if I have to, I will just wake up one morning and know. In the meantime, there is so much life to live.

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Dusk at Sea

Posted on Feb 3rd, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Sunset_with_island

This comes from the http://poetryx.com/ site, which I have found an amazing source for all kinds of poetry.


Dusk At Sea

Thomas S. Jones, Jr.

To-night eternity alone is near:
The sea, the sunset, and the darkening blue;
Within their shelter is no space for fear,
Only the wonder that such things are true.

The thought of you is like the dusk at sea—
Space and wide freedom and old shores left far,
The shelter of a lone immensity
Sealed by the sunset and the evening star.
Online text © 1998-2008 Poetry X. All rights reserved.
From The Second Book of Modern Verse | 1919
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Gregorio Allegri - Miserere mei, Deus - sublime!

Posted on Feb 3rd, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Xvarnah_-_a
here to listen...

for those of you who read music, you may follow the score on the video while listening... really enhances the experience for me

here for detailed background on this famous Miserere


Image credit: Xvarnah by A. Andrew Gonzalez
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When did you last feel proud of a friend?

Posted on Feb 5th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for February 05, 2008:

In_my_eyes_david_j_nightengale
Image credit: David J Nightingale

Like Jon, I'd have to say it constantly happens to me here on gaia. There are so many very beautiful people. I am continually being surprised by new delightful ones who pop up out of nowhere and send me a caring message and/or invite me to be friends. Every day in so many ways I am warmed, encouraged, amused, touched and otherwise provoked to positive feelings by people I know not only here, but in the International Association who always support and encourage me in my work there, and my personal circle of friends, my children, so many heroes of my life...

I feel extraordinarly privileged in my life right now. Having been through a desert experience for the past year, I appreciate everyone and everything that much more.

As well as all these fantastic people, I have meaningful work that inspires me to keep developing professionally and improving my learning centre, I have music that keeps my spirit soaring, there is so much beauty all around and I am very very rich in creature comforts...

Love to you all, with much gratitude,

Nicole
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Christian Taoism? Jesus Sutras!

Posted on Feb 5th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Lost_sutras_of_jesus
we're having this great, free-ranging discussion on the Tao among other hot topics at the new pod Is there a god

why not drop in and join us?

I posted the following there:

I looked on the net and I think this beliefnet interview with Thomas Moore
about the Jesus Sutras is a good introduction.

Here's a snippet to whet your appetite, but I think if the topic interests you, it's best to read the article for yourself:

“A treasure trove of ancient scrolls, buried more than a thousand years ago in China, were unearthed in the early 1900s but went untranslated until their 1998 rediscovery in a Taoist monastery. The scrolls, which retell the teachings of Jesus through a Taoist and Buddhist lens, are the subject of a new book by bestselling author Thomas Moore and coauthor Ray Riegert. Beliefnet recently interviewed Moore on the meaning of the Lost Sutras of Jesus.

“What are the Jesus Sutras?

"They're a group of teachings that go back centuries. A group of Christian monks left Persia to enter China in the year 635, and established a small Christian community inside China. The people at first welcomed them very warmly and were very interested in what they had to say about religion. In fact, the local people called this new religion “the Luminous Religion.” The people wrote some of the teachings and stories down, and as they did that, they mixed them with their own Buddhist and Taoist ideas. Some of the writings are very close to the gospel stories…:
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What do you find difficult to describe?

Posted on Feb 6th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for February 06, 2008:

Slide_209_20of_2050
When I really start caring for someone, it is hard for me to describe how I really feel.
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Dante's Prayer - Loreena McKennitt

Posted on Feb 6th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Lightning_at_sea_from_nature_top_photos

As I was enjoying my weekly massage yesterday, this was one of the songs I heard, my favourite one on that particular CD, The Book Of Secrets. It resonates deeply at any time, more so than usual yesterday.

Listen to the song here

(women, this video has the added bonus of giving you the chance to watch "Legolas" from the Lord of the Rings :) mmm)

When the dark wood fell before me
And all the paths were overgrown
When the priests of pride say there is no other way
I tilled the sorrows of stone

I did not believe because I could not see
Though you came to me in the night
When the dawn seemed forever lost
You showed me your love in the light of the stars

Chorus:
Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me

Then the mountain rose before me
By the deep well of desire
From the fountain of forgiveness
Beyond the ice and the fire

Chorus

Though we share this humble path, alone
How fragile is the heart
Oh give these clay feet wings to fly
To touch the face of the stars

Breathe life into this feeble heart
Lift this mortal veil of fear
Take these crumbled hopes, etched with tears
We'll rise above these earthly cares

Chorus

Please remember me
Please remember me, ...

"Motto of the CD:

A good traveller has no fixed plans
and is not intent on arriving.

Lao Tzu (570-490 BC)

Loreena writes in the CD-booklet about this song (compare the introduction to the CD):


December 17, 1995, Trans-Siberian Railway:
It is now Day 5 on this train journey across wintry Siberia. Travelling alone, it is strange not to be able to have a conversation with anyone, but one learns how much can be conveyed through actions, body language, a look in the eye... I saw some men on the platform today and one resembled my father. He had reddish hair and a long, very Celtic-looking face I would have expected to see in Ireland, not Russia... I am reminded again of the Celtic exhibition in Venice and the suggestion that the Celts may have originated in the Russian steppes. Perhaps the love of horses which began there is the very same that can be seen in County Kildare today.

December 18, 1995, Trans-Siberian Railway:
Dante's The Divine Comedy keeps running through my mind as I gaze out at the landscape passing before me, thinking of the people who inhabit it and how they share this human condition... Are we helping or hurting each other?... How has the West come to this place of transition? Honourably? What are we bringing them? What are their expectations? Are our lives really what they imagine? We always want to believe there is a place better than our own...

 

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"Be Still My Beating Heart" - Sting

Posted on Feb 7th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Goldendakini-_andrew_gonzalez
Image credit - Golden Dakini by A. Andrew Gonzalez

"Be Still My Beating Heart" - words and music by Sting

here for music video


Be still my beating heart
It would be better to be cool
It's not time to be open just yet
A lesson once learned is so hard to forget
Be still my beating heart
Or I'll be taken for a fool
It's not healthy to run at this pace
The blood runs so red to my face
I've been to every single book I know
To soothe the thoughts that plague me so

I sink like a stone that's been thrown in the ocean
My logic has drowned in a sea of emotion
Stop before you start
Be still my beating heart

Restore my broken dreams
Shattered like a falling glass
I'm not ready to be broken just yet
A lesson once learned is so hard to forget

Be still my beating heart
You must learn to stand your ground
It's not healthy to run at this pace
The blood runs so red to my face
I've been to every single book I know
To soothe the thoughts that plague me so

Stop before you start
Be still my beating heart

Never to be wrong
Never to make promises that break
It's like singing in the wind
Or writing on the surface of a lake
And I wriggle like a fish caught on dry land
And I struggle to avoid any help at hand

I sink like a stone that's been thrown in the ocean
My logic has drowned in a sea of emotion
Stop before you start
Be still my beating heart
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Gone! ~ the Cure

Posted on Feb 7th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Leonardogrid2
"Gone!" - words and music by Robert Smith

here for music video

Oh you know how it is
Wake up feeling blue
And everything that could be wrong is
Including you
Black clouds and rain and pain in your head
And all you want to do is stay in bed

But if you do that you'll be missing the world
Because it doesn't stop turning whatever you heard
If you do that you'll be missing the world
You have to get up get out and get gone!

Yeah you know how it is
Wake up feeling green
Sick as a dog and six times as mean
You don't want to sing you don't want to play
You don't want to swing you don't want to sway
All you want to do is nothing
On a day like today

But if you do that you'll be missing the world
Because it doesn't stop turning whatever you heard
If you do that you'll be missing the world
You have to get up get out and get gone!
Yeah get up get out and have some fun
You have to get up get out and get gone!
Yeah get up get out and get it on
Get up get out and get gone!
You have to get up get out and get living
Yeah this is really it...

So you know how it is
Wake up feeling grey
Nothing much to think and nothing much to say
Don't want to talk don't want to try
Don't want to think don't want to know
Who what where when or why...

Oh but you do that and you're missing the world
Yeah it's happening right now whatever you heard
You do that and you're missing the world
You have to get up get out and get gone!
Yeah get up get out and have some fun
You have to get up get out and get gone!
Yeah get up get out and get it on
Get up get out and get gone!
You have to get up get out and get living
Yeah this is really it!

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What has altered your life most dramatically?

Posted on Feb 8th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for February 08, 2008:

Aurora_2_from_nature_top_photos
God.

How God has done that is the moment by moment story of my life. Many of the most dramatic changes were effected through special people in my life - my children, the rest of my family, those i love...

For some absolutely amazing conversations about God and belief, read what my friends have said in my pod, is_there_a_god?

Learning from them is further changing my life...

Stay posted for future installments...
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The Proust Questionnaire Tag

Posted on Feb 8th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Yawn
I got tagged by Jon!

Instructions for the tag;


1. if somebody tags you, read their blog on the Proust questionnaire.

2. Copy the questions and these instructions, paste them to your blog, then write your own answers.

3. Write the name of the person who tagged you and link their name to the blog.

4.Tag 4 other people and let them know by a Thinking-Of or email...write
their names on the blog and link to their blogs as well....

If you are not sure how to do it ASK but do play the game..it's a great community-building tool.

TIP; don't tag folk who have already been tagged ...play mindfully...



What is your idea of perfect happiness?

living a blend of mystical ecstasy, relationships to the hilt and changing the world in the way i must do.

What is your greatest fear?

Humiliation.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?

I don't.

Which living figure do you most admire?

A small child just being delightful.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Manipulativeness/Controllingness

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Controllingness/Manipulativeness

What is your greatest extravagance?

Weekly massage.

What is your favourite journey?

Driving out into the country to a retreat house I love.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

I don't consider virtue overrated but undertried - by me as much as anyone else.

On what occasion do you lie?

When I am too ashamed of the truth.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?

My big nose and extra weight.

What living person do you most despise?

I try to sorrow rather than despise...

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Wonderful! Amazing! Super! etc.

What is your greatest regret?

All of the people I've lost through my mistakes.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

All three of my children, and God - my life is unimaginable without them.

Which talent would you most like to have?

I'd love to be able to fly. Really.

What is your current state of mind?

Hyped-up elation of attraction.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?

I would like to change how estranged we all are from each other.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

My children are growing up into amazing, unique people.

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing what do you think it would be?

A jellyfish?

If you were to choose what to come back as what would it be?

A real saint.

What is your most treasured possession?

My best quality.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Paralyzing shame and self-hatred.

Where would you like to live?

In Hawaii.

What is your favourite occupation

Purely and lovingly being.

What is your most marked characteristic?

Being at one extreme or another.

What is the quality you most like in a man?

Loving empathy

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Loving empathy

What do you most value in your friends?

Who they really are.

Who are your favourite writers?

Rilke, JK Rowling, Ursula K Le Guin, JRR Tolkien...

Who are your heroes in real life?

People who are really alive, active and really connect with others

Who is your favourite hero of fiction?

The Little Prince.

What are your favourite names?

Arielle, Joshua, Maya, Benjamin

What is it that you most dislike?

Fakeness, especially someone pretending to be nice

How would you like to die?

With at least one of my dearest ones by my side, in a relaxed, warm, gently lit environment with beautiful music leading me home.

I tag dave,
arjan
tigana,
Christopher
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What's the most useful class you've ever taken?

Posted on Feb 9th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for February 09, 2008:

Anothersunnyworld
Life...

My class began when I was in utero, and every day that goes by teaches me something important. I need to learn so much more... may I have time to love more and be my true self more.

i have mixed feelings about graduation from this class. it is exciting to imagine what comes next but in the meantime I enjoy the teachers and the curriculum. suffering is a good teacher too.
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World Rave International (from ebuzz's blog)

Posted on Feb 9th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole



This is a calling to ALL aspects of Creative Flow.  Are you and artist?  Are you business Savvy?  Are you a Humanitarian?  Are you a facilitator of Dreams?  Imagine all of these aspects and more working under the same roof simultaneously for sake of Global Awakening in the most poignant and creative way possible utilizing every single internal and external receptor the Human Consciousness can fathom gross physical to nondual "suchness"!!  The technology exists today.  The engineering know how exists today!!  The missing piece of the ever expanding integral puzzle is YOU!!!  Please come and look deep inside yourself to help realize the Largest Enlightenment Project on the Planet!!!

Boundless Love and Endless Blessings,

Erik
Cofounder and Dream Merchant
World Rave International


What if you could enjoy all limits of human experience at once?




The Vision:

In your hand you hold a ticket which has been color coded. On the back of this ticket you have written your name and mailing address. You hand this ticket to an attendant and in exchange you get a percussive instrument (i.e. drum, rattle, shaker) with the event logo emblazoned upon it. Next you walk through the doors into a massive arena in which you notice there are seating sections radiating from the center in colored pie slices. Naturally you sit in the color your ticket was. Next you notice a very large round stage (approximately 50 to 75 yards in diameter) with an impressive amount of sonic equipment on it. You also happen to notice that it is rotating at approximately 1 revolution every 10 minutes. About three stories above the stage you see what is to be known as "The World Rave Mothership"; a massive round multimedia armature loaded with projection equipment, lighting, speakers and on the backside of it an intricate nozzle system that emits a mist down to the floor level from three stories up. Upon this veil of mist a plethora of visual media will be projected which will include some of the Earth's most beautiful and precious scenery and Mankind's positive interaction with it as well as prompts to the audience (wonder what that color on the ticket was for?) to start drumming, shaking and rattling to the rhythm of their colored lights! The mist veil, just for kickers has been imbued with aroma therapy scents such as patchouli oil or nag champa incents. We didn't want your nose to feel left out! All of this is surrounding what is happening on the stage. Conscious composer/performers of percussive Worldbeat and Techno perform their music while ethnic dancers of every imaginable creed, race, color and culture dance around them. By the way, your seat now folds into the floor to reveal plenty of space to get up and jam yourself!

Welcome to the
Realized Consciousness Tour
by
World Rave International!

That's just the beginning! Actually, technically it is the three to four hour end to a wonderful week of healing workshops, transformative talks, meditative walks and spa visits that you undertook so that you were ready to contribute as a conscious co-creator of this event. Imagine a week learning the basics of alternative healing techniques such as Reiki, Rolfing, Swedish massage or even guided imagery while being served wholesome foods from a conscious menu of mostly vegetarian and vegan fare (meat dishes would still be served for those who wished and it would be of a free range and organic variety as well). The onsight living conditions would be conducive to meditative and contemplative practices from the best of the world's best transformative traditions. Also on site would be the Conscious Vendors's Market where hemp clothing and other free trade goodies could be purchased perhaps after walking in our underground meditative and contemplative labyrinth where the end should inspire inner calm and greater vision in depth and breadth.

Imagine! You sharing and co-creating a truly remarkable and transformative experience that is uniquely human and like nothing else ever experienced in all cumulative human history. Every internal and external sense is stimulated to elicit a sense of now'ness and ever present awareness of this eternal moment. And for that week, in this place with possibly thousands of other people from every walk, level of understanding, belief system, and culture, there would be no conflict, no war and no intolerance. The would be only the sharing of the best of each culture's best traditions and their beautiful transformative abilities. And to top it off, after about a week, when you have returned to the comforts of your own home, you will recieve a DVD (your name and address, remember?) of your unique experience. Thus saving you the dread of recalling all of the many experiential stimuli that would be almost impossible to remember while you were here.

One more thing should be added here. A large portion of ticket sales would go into freeing up food stores of countries that grow in abundance and distributing it to countries that don't as well as extending them an invite to send cultural emissaries to join the show if they haven't already. This of course will be a non-profit organization with some compensation going naturally to those who put in the time and effort to bring this event to all.

How can this happen?!

YOU!!!! You make this happen! We all do. Every kind of talent imaginable is needed to make this Vision fly. We need facilitators, idea people, organizers, producers, photographers, directors, writers, coordinators, engineers, architects, film makers, two dimensional artists, three dimensional artists, performers of every culture and belief system. The question is not so much how can you help but can you help? Any and all kinds of help are needed. For this to work, it must be the cumulative effort of many, many people with not a only a shared dream but the fire of passion burning in them to keep this vision alive! At a grassroots level, this can start in Universities and Concert hall's and Community Centers all across the globe. As it is, the catalyst for this idea currently resides in Humboldt County Northern California. We need to have a meeting of conscious minds on the same page to formulate a map of what this would actually look like and start with the exciting process of getting the first event off the drawing table and onto the stage!

If this Vision resonates with you and sounds like it could evolve to the single most important thing that Mankind can do for all of Mankind, please feel free to e-mail us at world.rave@gmail.com as to how you can contribute or post a comment at the World Rave International website.

Thank You and Blessings,

Erik Stitt - Founder and Dream Merchant
Stuart Peterson - Founder and Healer
Kelly Cookson - Founder and Director of BizDev

World Rave International

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Do we use only 10 percent of our brain?

Posted on Feb 9th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Feather_falling_in_blue
I've often heard this, but apparently it's false.

The Myth and the Media

That tired Ten-Percent claim pops up all the time. Last year, national magazine ads for U.S. Satellite Broadcasting showed a drawing of a brain. Under it was the caption, "You only use 11 percent of its potential." Well, they're a little closer than the ten-percent figure, but still off by about 89 percent. In July 1998, ABC television ran promotional spots for "The Secret Lives of Men," one of their offerings for the fall season's lineup. The spot featured a full-screen blurb that read, "Men only use ten percent of their brains."

One reason this myth has endured is that it has been adopted by psychics and other paranormal pushers to explain psychic powers. On more than one occasion I've heard psychics tell their audiences, "We only use ten percent of our minds. If scientists don't know what we do with the other ninety percent, it must be used for psychic powers!" In Reason To Believe: A Practical Guide to Psychic Phenomena, author Michael Clark mentions a man named Craig Karges. Karges charges a lot of money for his "Intuitive Edge" program, designed to develop natural psychic abilities. Clark quotes Karges as saying: "We normally use only 10 to 20 percent of our minds. Think how different your life would be if you could utilize that other 80 to 90 percent known as the subconscious mind" (Clark 1997, 56)...


here for the full article
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Please send your positive energies and prayers

Posted on Feb 10th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Cannon_beach_oregon_cummings
to my sister Michele who is going to have her hip surgery tomorrow.

She says: ” i'm going into the hospital either sunday night or first thing monday morning. the surgery is on monday and i'll be in the hospital until the 14th or the 15th and then i'll be recuperating at home this time. there will be a few friends who will be coming by to take care of me and cook etc, for the 3 weeks that i will be horizontal.”

I also posted this request to the pod Is there a God?

Finally, I would like to ask for myself. There has been estrangement between me and the members of my nuclear family since Christmas 2006 when they refused to allow my partner to share Christmas dinner with them. I still am having trouble dealing with that. So, I haven't really spoken to my sister in over a year...

Thank you, my friends...
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When Women Rule - Why women are disadvantaged in modern politics

Posted on Feb 10th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Xvarnah_-_a
C4Chaos has added an interesting link to a NY Times article. Here are some excerpts.
Full article here

Op-Ed Columnist

When Women Rule

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Published: February 10, 2008

While no woman has been president of the United States — yet — the world does have several thousand years’ worth of experience with female leaders. And I have to acknowledge it: Their historical record puts men’s to shame.

Skip to next paragraph
Fred R. Conrad/The New York Times

Nicholas D. Kristof.

A notable share of the great leaders in history have been women... those women who climbed to power in monarchies had an astonishingly high success rate.

Research by political psychologists points to possible explanations. Scholars find that women, compared with men, tend to excel in consensus-building and certain other skills useful in leadership. If so, why have female political leaders been so much less impressive in the democratic era? ... Often, they haven’t even addressed the urgent needs of women in those countries.

I have a pet theory about what’s going on.

In monarchies, women who rose to the top dealt mostly with a narrow elite, so they could prove themselves and get on with governing. But in democracies in the television age, female leaders also have to navigate public prejudices — and these make democratic politics far more challenging for a woman than for a man.

In one common experiment, the “Goldberg paradigm,” people are asked to evaluate a particular article or speech, supposedly by a man. Others are asked to evaluate the identical presentation, but from a woman. Typically, in countries all over the world, the very same words are rated higher coming from a man.

... when women highlight their accomplishments, that’s a turn-off. And women seem even more offended by self-promoting females than men are.

This creates a huge challenge for ambitious women in politics or business: If they’re self-effacing, people find them unimpressive, but if they talk up their accomplishments, they come across as pushy braggarts...

Women have often quipped that they have to be twice as good as men to get anywhere — but that, fortunately, is not difficult. In fact, it appears that it may be difficult after all. Modern democracies may empower deep prejudices and thus constrain female leaders in ways that ancient monarchies did not.

I invite you to comment on this column on my blog, www.nytimes.com/ontheground. On the blog, you can also see readers setting me straight about previous columns and read posts from guest bloggers, including a Chicago teacher, Will Okun, and an aid worker in Bangladesh, Nicki Bennett.


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True Homeland Security

Posted on Feb 11th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Homeland_security_the_real_thing
Woke up this morning to find this photo as Ookami's new icon...

then I found a great site here

"I did not know then how much was ended. When I look back now from this high hill of my old age, I can still see the butchered women and children lying heapen and scattered all along the crooked gulch as plain as when I saw them with eyes still young.And I can see that something else died there in the bloody mud, and was buried in the blizzard. A people dream died there. It was a beautiful dream. . . the nations hoop is broken and scattered. There is no center any longer, and the sacred tree is dead.

-Black Elk, Lakota


"I cured with the power that came through me. Of course, it was not I who cured, it was the power from the Outer World, the visions and the ceremonies had only made me like a hole through which the power could come to the two-leggeds."

Black Elk, Oglala

"If I thought that I was doing it myself, the hole would close up and no power could come through. Then everything I could do would be foolish."


Black Elk, Oglala

     
     


"How smooth must be the language of the whites, when they can make right look like wrong, and wrong like right."

-Black Hawk, Sauk-(1767-1838)Ma-ka-tai-me-she-kia-kiak

     
     
     
     


Motavato (Black Kettle) to the Indians at Medicine Creek Lodge - "We were once friends with the whites, but you nudged us out of the way by your intrigues, and now when we are in council, you keep nudging (to fight) each other. Why don't you talk and go straight, and let all be well?

Motavato (Black Kettle) of the Southern Cheyennes (???-1868)

- Although wrongs have been done to me, I live in hopes. I have not got two hearts….Now we are together again to make peace. My shame is as big as the earth, although I will do what my friends have advised me to do. I once thought that I was the only man that persevered to be the friend of the white man, but since they have come and cleaned out our lodges, horses and everything else, it is hard for me to believe the white men any more.

Black Kettle - Cheyenne (???-1868)


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In what area do you feel misunderstood?

Posted on Feb 12th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for February 12, 2008:

Cat_blake_cat
Image credit: my friend tigana, an amazing artist, gave this to me a while back...

thanks, Siona. a misunderstanding has been throbbing in my heart since Saturday like an aching tooth - I keep breathing into the pain and doing other things and it ebbs and flows but remains. so i guess i should blog it out.

i am an extremely intense person. as a child i was also very shy, and a loner at school. i could never find more than a few people at any one time to connect to. as i grew older, i learned to "pass" as an extrovert, to the point that few people really know how introverted i am. the truth is that even now i am bored and uneasy in large groups, much preferring getting into something very deeply with one person at a time.

over the years, i learned to insulate people from the total high voltage of my being by finding out how much of me they were comfortable experiencing, and adjusting my interactions with them accordingly. This means that i adapt the frequency of my contact with them as well as the kinds of things i discuss with them. only two people, one man and one woman, really are willing and able to be with me in my full force. i value and appreciate their openness and resilience.

my partner has developed his own techniques to insulate himself from me, like preemptive strikes which anger me and cause me to withdraw and isolate myself from him.

so... the misunderstanding. well, when i tried to explain the way i am to a friend, it was interpretated as imposing something unwanted. i still feel hurt and sad about that, because the friend is dear though very new, but am resigned that it may be impossible to explain.

at the same time, i am so full of gratitude for this beautiful community of friends here and all my other friends that i can hardly contain it, and so full of gratitude for what a fulfilling and meaningful life i have that i know that i am deeply blessed. Thank you, beautiful people!
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Holons, Heaps and Artifacts -Fred Kofman

Posted on Feb 13th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Fractal-jun19_1300_fullness
This article was sent to me yesterday by my friend who introduced me to integral thought, WIE and indirectly to gaia (then zaadz). It really helped me understand these important terms better. It's also very relevant to a discussion we are having over on the is_there_a_god? pod

See here for the full article.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fred Kofman is founder and president of Leading Learning Communities , a consulting organization. He has a PhD in economics from the University of California at Berkeley and was a professor of management accounting and control systems at MIT's Sloan School of Management. He is one of the original members of Peter Senge's Center for Organizational Learning at MIT and a member of the Integral Institute Business Branch.
Note: Although the raw material for this essay comes from my conversations with Ken Wilber, the ideas stated here do not necessarily represent his position. I am merely trying to explain my understanding and reflections about his model. To find Wilber's own perspective on the following topics, the reader can read a Shambala interview posted at wilber.shambhala.com ). I want to acknowledge Wilber's great generosity and patience. He has spent many hours tutoring me on the intricacies of his thinking. It has been beautiful and humbling to explore the awesome architecture of the integral philosophy illuminated by the heart and mind of one of its most brilliant lights.

Holons, Heaps and Artifacts

(And their corresponding hierarchies)

Fred Kofman

In order to understand the meaning of whole/part in Wilber's model, it is fundamental to distinguish four kinds of entities: individual holons, social holons, artifacts and heaps. According to Wilber, for each one of these entities the part/whole relationship means something different, and the hierarchy of progressive transcendence and inclusion means something different—and has a different correlation with physical size. Wilber has stated these ideas in several places ( Sex, Ecology and Spirituality and Integral Psychology , for example), but he hasn't organized them in a single text. Wilber's fullest discussion of heaps, artifacts and holons occurred in the dialogues leading to this essay (and in the Shambala interview cited above). My goal in this note is to articulate his ideas and derive some of their implications.

I also hope to correct some of the common errors that many readers of Wilber's theory tend to make. The distinctions between individual holons, social holons, artifacts and heaps are subtle yet fundamental. Equally significant are the differences between hierarchies of each one of these entities. That is why overlooking them is easy; and dangerous.

A holon is an entity which can be seen as a whole in itself and, simultaneously, as a part of a larger whole. In SES Wilber did not make sharp distinctions between sentient and non-sentient holons. The first ones (such as atoms, molecules, cells, etc. and galaxies, planets, eco-systems, tribes, etc.) are what he calls simply "holons"; the second ones (which he doesn't address specifically in SES) he calls "artifacts" (anthills, spider webs, automobiles) and "heaps" (rocks, puddles, dunes). In SES, Wilber simply focused on part/whole relationships and the transcend-and-include nature of hierarchies, so his implicit restriction of the term holon to sentient holons has generated some confusion.

 


Fig 1: Sentient and Non-Sentient Holons

In p. 36 of that book, for example, Wilber states that sets are "mathematical holons that are arranged in a transfinite hierarchy, an infinite holarchy." He also uses elsewhere the hierarchy of letter, word, sentence, paragraph and text as a holonic example of transcend and include. These illustrations make a point about hierarchies of non-sentient holons, but they don't use the terms "holon" and "holarchy" rigorously. (By Wilber's own definition, sets, letter, words, sentences, and other linguistic objects are not sentient holons but artifacts.) Although he did make clear his definitions on holons and holarchies in other sections of the book, many people have misunderstood and misapplied these concepts. This is unfortunate since it can lead to great confusion, and dangerous ethical ideas—ideas that have rather frightening social and political implications.

Furthermore, the first of Wilber's twenty tenets usually drives people to an unwarranted conclusion. The tenet states that "Reality as a whole is not composed of things or processes, but of holons." The incorrect inference is that every thing that exists in Reality is a holon. This is not the case; or at least, not what Wilber is trying to convey. There are lots of things that exist in reality that are not (sentient) holons such as heaps and artifacts. These things can be embedded in networks of whole/parts relationships; it's just that the hierarchical inclusion means something totally different for heaps, for artifacts and for holons. We shall see that a holon is not just anything that can be seen simultaneously as a whole in itself and as a part of a larger whole. (Perhaps the incorrect interpretation of the first tenet stems from the understanding that anything and everything can be seen as a whole and a part of a larger whole.) Although that is a necessary condition, it is not sufficient. According to Wilber's definition, in addition to being whole and part a holon (i.e., a sentient holon) must have interiority or consciousness.

Many people confuse different types of holons and create hierarchies that mix them with "unpleasant and confusing" consequences—as Wilber warns in page 89 of SES. For example, one can think of parts and wholes merely in terms of physical or relational inclusion, one can see individual holons as juniors of a social holon, subjects to its unlimited authority, or one can subtly fall into the reductionistic attitude of equating a holon with its exterior surfaces, denying its interior dimension. (For a more detailed discussion see SES p. 90.). Once consciousness falls out of the picture, the integral system collapses and becomes a reductionistic farce of its true self.

Even restricting analysis to sentient holons, there is still widespread confusion amongst readers of Wilber about the difference between individual and social holons. These are two fundamentally different types of holons and need to be kept separate to avoid confusion. When people conflate these two holons and write (pseudo-)holarchies such as "individual, family, community, nation, humanity", they are incurring in a mistake with serious philosophical and practical consequences...


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New Music from Dave Martel

Posted on Feb 13th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Dave_martel
As I mention on my home page, Dave Martel is one of my favourite local indie songsters.

I was enjoying his new music from an upcoming CD this morning.

here is his myspace page


If you live in Montreal or Toronto, he has shows this month you might want to catch:

Upcoming Shows ( view all )
14 Feb 2008 20:30
Sala Rossa Montreal, Quebec
15 Feb 2008 21:00
The Rivoli Toronto, Ontario
23 Feb 2008 18:00
Dinner and a Vernissage and a Show @ Cafe Lola Rosa, w/ Mike O’Brien and Katrien Janin Montreal, Quebec
29 Mar 2008 20:00
Le Centre St-Ambroise, w/ Rob Szabo




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Poetry of George Macdonald - Love's despair

Posted on Feb 15th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Solitude

A Mood

My thoughts are like fire-flies, pulsing in moonlight,
My heart like a silver cup, filled with red wine;
My soul
a pale gleaming horizon, whence soon light
Will flood the gold earth with a torrent divine.


(Dougal's heart-cry)

My thouchts are like worms in a starless gloamin
My hert's like a sponge that's fillit wi' gall;
My soul's like a bodiless ghaist sent a roamin
I' the haar an' the mirk till the trumpet call.

Lord, turn ilk worm til a butterflee,
Wring oot my hert, an' fill 't frae thy ain;
My soul syne in patience its weird will dree,
An' luik for the mornin throu the rain.

From Love's Ordeal:

"But when I find a heart that's like to mine,
With love to live through the unloving hour,
Folded in faith, like violets that have lien
Folded in warm earth, till the sunny shower
Calleth them forth; thoughts with my thoughts to twine,
Weaving around us both a fragrant bower,
Where we within may sleep, together drawn,
Folded in love until the morning dawn;

"Then shall I rest, my weary day's work o'er,
A deep sleep bathing, steeping all my soul,
Dissolving out the earth-stains evermore.
Thou too shalt sleep with me, and be made whole.
All, all time's billows over us shall pour,
Then ebb away, and far beneath us roll:
We shall behold them like a stormy lake,
'Neath the clear height of peace where we awake."

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And death shall have no dominion - Dylan Thomas

Posted on Feb 17th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Phantasmagoria
here for more poetry bio and more of Dylan Thomas

And death shall have no dominion.
Dead men naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
Under the windings of the sea
They lying long shall not die windily;
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,
And the unicorn evils run them through;
Split all ends up they shan't crack;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Though they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.
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Klaus Hoffmann - Adieu Emile (Seasons in the Sun)

Posted on Feb 17th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Was-bleibt-klaus-hoffmann
here for the video

here for clips of his songs

Adieu Émile
(Musik: Jacques Brel; dt. Text: Hans Riedel; Interpret: Klaus Hoffmann)

Adieu Émile ich liebte Dich
Adieu Émile ich liebte dich Du weißt
wir saßen bei dem selben Wein
wir saßen bei denselben Mädchen
wir sangen mit der gleichen Pein

Adieu Émile ich sterbe nun
es ist schwer wenn man im Frühling stirbt du weißt
ich geh mit Frieden in der Seele
weil du so rein wie weißes Brot
weiß ich mein Weib hat keine Not

Ich will Gesang will Spiel und Tanz
will daß man sich wie toll vergnügt
Ich will Gesang will Spiel und Tanz
wenn man mich untern Rasen pflügt

Adieu Curie ich liebte Dich
Adieu Curie ich liebte Dich Du weißt
wir waren nicht vom gleichen Ort
wir hatten nicht den selben Weg
wir suchten nur den gleichen Port

Adieu Curie ich sterbe nun
es ist schwer wenn man im Frühling stirbt du weißt
ich geh mit Frieden in der Seele
ich weiß man Weib hat keine Not
ihr wart vertraut vor meinem Tod

Ich will Gesang will Spiel und Tanz
will daß man sich wie toll vergnügt
Ich will Gesang will Spiel und Tanz
wenn man mich untern Rasen pflügt

Adieu Antoine ich lieb dich nicht
Adieu Antoine ich lieb dich nicht du weißt
es bringt mich nun zum Sterben heut
denn du lebst weiter und nicht schlecht mein Freund
weil dich mein Tod doch sicher freut


I love the vulnerability of his voice and his lyrics...

One of my favourite songs by him is Was Bleibt.... I wish I could find a sound sample...

Was Bleibt

Klaus Hoffmann

Composição: Indisponível

Stolpernd suchen deine Füße Halt,
auf Kopfstein tappst du hin, siehst bald
deine Hündin an der Kneipe stehn,
du merkst, du hast nicht mal ein festes Wort für sie.
Spürst seit Tagen nur noch Krampf in dir,
vertuscht ihn, spülst ihn weg, rauchst viel.
Und wie immer wartest Du mit fremden Freunden
an langen Tischen auf den nächsten Morgen.
Lachend läßt der Tag dich fallen,
wieder weißt du nicht, wofür du tust -

Was dir und mir noch bleibt,
was schon zu unserm Glück gehört,
was in uns Tag und Nacht verweilt,
nicht mal mehr unsre Träume stört,
ist vielleicht nur Angst,
die uns nach vorne treibt.

Man hat zum Springpferd dich gemacht,
gezäumt für Hürden flott gemacht,
und wenn du erste Schwächen zeigst,
kommen Regenmacher, Priester und Doktoren.
Die schmeicheln dir die Sonn' ins Ohr,
ziehst lieber ihre Lügen vor,
als eine triste Wahrheit, die du denkst,
du hier ja doch nicht ändern kannst.
Lachend läßt der Tag dich fallen,
wieder weißt du nicht, wofür du tust -

Was dir und mir noch bleibt,
was schon zu unserm Glück gehört,
was in uns Tag und Nacht verweilt,
nicht mal mehr unsre Träume stört,
ist vielleicht nur Angst,
die uns nach vorne treibt.

Da stehst du nun suchst eine Furt
im Bächlein, der zum Wildbach wurd',
starrst auf ein andres Ufer,
das so viele Träume, Hoffnungen, doch offen läßt.
Du wartest auf den Morgenwind,
der dir einen Fährmann bringt,
und plötzlich siehst du, wie du schon
bis an den Hals im tiefen Wasser stehst.
Unsre Zeit ist jetzt und hier,
da gibt's kein gestern und kein morgen -

Nur was uns von den Alten bleibt,
was schon zu unserm Glück gehört,
was in uns Tag und Nacht verweilt,
nicht mal mehr unsre Träume stört,
ist bestimmt nur Angst,
die uns nach vorne treibt.

"Our time is here and now,
There is no yesterday and no tomorrow...
It is definitely only fear
which drives us forward"

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my conversation with my sister

Posted on Feb 18th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Angel2
after a week of playing phone tag with her, because she has no call waiting service and if she is already on the phone it just goes straight to message, we finally spoke last night.

she's finding this one more difficult than the last hip operation. the pain is worse, the healing more slow. she hates having to take the meds every 4 hours but has no choice. she has friends looking after her, helping with meals.

we caught up on things, she told me about one of my nieces who will be turning 29 this year, we talking about her turning 50 this April...

it was good to talk to her. i realized i was no longer angry with her about anything and just want her to be well and strong again...

i couldn't bring myself to talk about my partner though, and the fact that we have once again split up. perhaps another time...

she will be home recovering for a few weeks so there will be other talks.
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Virus alert - this is not a hoax

Posted on Feb 18th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Imagenet_purples
see http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/postcard.asp
for the entire article

Also http://spamtrackers.eu/wiki/index.php?title=Storm

for details about the deadly Storm Trojan

Introduction

The Storm trojan is many things. It is arguably a worm, a trojan, malware, the unit element of a botnet, a hijacked host program, a spam sender, a directory harvester, an http website redirector, a member of a DDoS attack force, a zombie. It is spread by spam messages which can be sent from machines infected with Storm itself. The spammed message may contain a link to a hijacked host web site or web site proxy which is also running on Storm. The hijacked host may contain an attractive file to be downloaded, which once again contains the Storm infection.

Storm is unique in its ability to perform so many functions. As at December 2007, it is the most pervasive and most successful implementation of a multifunctional infection that the Internet has ever witnessed. Its capabilities to exert control and domination of key sectors of the Internet are unprecedented. Storm is too great a threat to be ignored.

Estimates by researchers for the number of Windows machines infected range from 2 million minimum up to 50 million. The scanner used in Botnet Reporting usually accumulates 3,500 - 4,000 hijacked IPs being actively used to host the distribution of Storm in any 24 hour period. The ISPs that are the most infected are located in the US

  • SBC Global (pacbell, swbell, ameritech, snet)
  • Comcast
  • Roadrunner (rr)

These three ISPs alone account for over 20% of the world's Storm distribution network...


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What's his name? (aka Siddig who)

Posted on Feb 19th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Siddig_el_tahir_etc
I can just hear this actor who played Julian Bashir on Deep Space Nine introducing himself...

"Hi, I'm Siddig El Tahir El Fadil El Siddig El Abderahman El Mohammed Ahmed El Abdel Karim El Mahdi (Arabic: ????? ?????? ?????? ??????? ????????? ???? ???? ????????? ??????) (born 21 November 1965)...
but you can call me Alexander."

More from the wikipedia article here:

Personal life

Siddig was born in Sudan, and spent most of his life in England. Born to an English mother who worked as a theatrical consultant[1] and a Sudanese father. Siddig describes himself as being a Muslim. His maternal uncle is English actor Malcolm McDowell, and his paternal uncle is the former Sudanese Prime Minister Sadiq al-Mahdi, his also descendant from Muhammad Ahmad Al-Mahdi. He studied at St. Lawrence College, Ramsgate. He was credited under the shortened name Siddig El Fadil until October 1995 (three seasons into his run on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine), when he changed his stage name to Alexander Siddig, as he thought it would be less confusing and easier to pronounce by American tongues than his original name - not to mention a lot quicker than his full name; on set, however, he became known as 'Sid'. In 1997, Siddig married his co-star Nana Visitor; they had a son, Django El Tahir El Siddig, who was born in 1996. Siddig and Visitor eventually divorced in 2001. In 2005 he was briefly involved with his Whose Life Is It Anyway? co-star Kim Cattrall.[2]

Career

Since the end of the long-running Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Siddig has made prominent appearances in films and television. Highlights include guest-starring as an Algerian secret agent on the trail of Islamic extremists in a controversial episode of the British television show Spooks, entitled "Nest of Angels", in 2003. In 2005, he appeared as Saladin's aide, Nasir, in Sir Ridley Scott's film Kingdom of Heaven and gave a critically-lauded performance as Prince Nasir in Syriana, alongside George Clooney and Matt Damon. He played the title role in 2006's Hannibal - Rome's Worst Nightmare for the BBC (UK). Early 2007 brought him back to American television in the role of former terrorist Hamri Al-Assad for the sixth season of 24.

Siddig's roles have often called for him to act out many different accents: an English 'RP' accent (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine), a cockney accent (Reign Of Fire), and an Algerian accent (Spooks), among others. He has also given performances in Arabic as the role required (Spooks, Syriana, 24). He is also a keen cricketer and plays for a village cricket team called Wisborough Green.


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i am truly healing

Posted on Feb 20th, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Angelsonline
i have been having some really wonderful conversations with my friends who still attend the church i left a year ago, and i am seriously considering returning, at least occasionally.

today i felt strong enough that i actually called the priest who forced me to resign from the board, which began my year of hell.

it was terrific talking to him, just like we used to talk before in the old days. he shared about his plans for retirement and i shared about my plans to change the world. it was a loving and caring talk together. i felt no bitterness or estrangement.

i'm very glad i did it. i have real peace now.
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Another Nicole (Nelson) :)

Posted on Feb 22nd, 2008 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Nicole_nelson
here for her website with links to her other sites

A couple of years ago, I fell in love with the voice and dynamic stage presence of Nicole Nelson, who is based in NY. She was at the Montreal Jazz Festival singing the blues and she just blew the audience away.

Here's an interview with her and her partner Dwight: here for the full article

"You can sense the opulent rush of popularity a band accumulates over time when their music hits all the right notes.  A single beat or catchy lyric can define its listener while driving them mad thinking, "What's the name of that band?"

 
 

Hitting the smokeless stages of BB Kings Blues Club, nestled in the Broadway district of New York City, the nightlife can be overwhelming. Wine drinkers and smooth whiskey sippers alike sit back and enjoyed the unique sounds of Dwight Ritcher & Nicole Nelson as a gleaming audience applauded them.

Originating from a pure breed of original soul, country, blues, rock, and gospel music, Dwight and Nicole have astonished even the most faithful Ella Fitzgerald and Nina Simone fans. "People seemed to really like the two of us together - the way that our voices blend and the harmonies was something really unique and powerful. We loved it too," states Nelson.

 
 

Slow, upbeat love songs filled with acoustic and electric guitar make up this charming duo that, "We aspire to be exactly like Sonny and Cher on the weekends," says Ritcher.

Attained in harmony, live tambourine and handclaps capture the attention of listeners as the sultry sounds embrace an unexpected, intimate attraction to rhythm.

 
 

"We've always had a ton of chemistry on stage together," says Ritcher.

"I had always wanted to work with Dwight - I used to go see him and flip out. He had the whole package, and he didn't seem to even be aware of his power. It was great!" states Nelson.

Subtle influences of Patsy Cline and the supreme Etta James and Aretha Franklin, Dwight and Nicole's cover songs are so versatile, their personalities and creativity break through the jazz and soul enriched trends recovering old time favorites into a style of their own...
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