I've been reflecting lately on the way that a friendship that is not really just a friendship but not really anything more... can be a form of limbo. Not a place one wants to hang out for long.

What is it that makes it difficult?

I've decided it mostly has to do with expectations, with attitudes.

A new motto for me, perhaps: "Attitude is everything.".

Because, you know, life is really, really awesome for me right now. It has never been better, richer, more exciting, more full of cool surprises and serendipity.

My  Kumon afterschool math and reading learning centre is flourishing, new students enrolling one after another. Students are going away with their holiday packages too so the pace is quieter and more relaxed.

The International_association  of Kumon Franchisees, of which I am the president, is growing apace, and the regional meetings all over North America are enjoyable, motivating and give me opportunities to travel extensively this summer and meet many of my Gaian friends. Plus, I am very excited about my vacation in Scotland in only a month (where does the time go?) and the big trip to Japan in early December for the Kumon 50th Anniversary International conference.

I have been busily booking tickets for these trips and travel accommodations, and at the same time have had lots and lots of time to visit with my Gaian friends and other friends online, on the phone and in person. And to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine - heading off in a few minutes to the Montreal jazzfest

Church is smooth. My children are well, doing fine and happy. The mortgage is paid off, I get a weekly massage, life is so good!

So, the only small glitch has been not being in a relationship. Surely not a big deal. But if you have expectations on a friendship that may just be a friendship it can cause so much roller coasterness when all you want to do is savour and delight in each moment.

So, how do we escape the feeling that love stinks?

How about learning just to enjoy what is?

How about being happy when you are with a friend and happy when you are alone, when you can drink in the silence?

How about accepting each person where he or she is without needing him or her to be different?

How about facing each day as a new and tremendous adventure? As a "present" to be opened with joy and anticipation, enjoying each serendipity that happens along?

How about being open to friendships with or without benefits, whatever that means, no questions asked, no pressure?

Thank U!

Hope that got your attention, all you Montreal, California, TO and UK Gaians! LOL

Time is rushing along and I will be in SF in two days and my Scotland trip is less than a month away.

Yikes! LOLOL!

Please help me by RSVPing by  commenting here for all of these meetings. I am going crazy juggling plans for all these Gaia meetings as well as planning the IAKF meetings which were the pretext for traveling to all these marvelous destinations. So need to get efficient and fast in tying all the loose ends together.

So, here is the scoop:

1) Montreal, Sunday July 6th: canceled. no responses.
So, we'll put the Gaia meets for Montreal on hold now. If you are in Montreal and want to meet mail me and we'll get together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2) San Francisco,

Lunch on Wednesday, July 9th 11 am - 2 p.m., The Crossroads Cafe, 699 Delancey Street at Brannan (SOMA district). The menu has lots of options and people can come for a meal or just drop by and have a coffee…. Seating availability to accommodate as small or as large a party as we might gather and accessible from downtown so people who work in the area can stop in.

Dinner on Thursday, July 10th, 5 - 9 p.m. Mexican: El Delfin, Mission

Please let me know ASAP if you can come or if there is a possibility so we can swap cell phone numbers to connect and confirm closer to the time.



3 Los Angeles, Saturday, July 12th, 6-9 p.m. -Santa Monica Pier

Please let me know ASAP if you can come or if there is a possibility so we can swap cell phone numbers to connect and confirm closer to the time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

4) Toronto, Friday, July 25, 7 pm - someplace central downtown? I have no idea where I'm staying as usual but will try for something central. So, know of a good restaurant there?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5) Edinburgh, Saturday, August 9, afternoon/evening -  again, like for Montreal, instead of going to a cafe, let's enjoy the Fringe Festival together. We'll decide on a time/place to meet up and exchange cell phone numbers beforehand so we can touch base by texting if we have trouble finding each other for any reason.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm so very excited about all these trips, and looking forward to seeing you all!

Let me know asap, everyone, please, ok?Thanks a zillion!
 

I know this is a long shot, but I'm just putting it out there. If any of you are anywhere near Altamont, NY (not too far from Albany) and love folk music, there is an awesome folk festival I go to every year called Old Songs, with my daughter and a friend from church.

This year it's Friday June 27 to 29 - just a week and a half away, yikes, I better buy that camping gear! Need another tent and air mattress this year...

Let me know by commenting here ok? I volunteer so my free time would be the

Saturday night, June 28, around 6 pm

You won't regret it! So many shows and workshops, really fun.

Check out performers and schedule, and get directions at

http://www.oldsongs.org/

My last day in Vancouver was a fitting conclusion, beginning as it did with the usual online hanging out, and lunch with Gien, his brothers Victor and Henry, and his parents.

It was not difficult to see the qualities so beloved in him by his Hummingbird (Anna). He talked in a relaxed and unselfconscious way of all he had to do by Wednesday, when he will be leaving to be reunited with her, and shortly after that, to marry. We talked about Anna, her art, their book they are co-writing together.

He was curious about my magical mystery Gaia tour... was I independently wealthy? (LOL far from it!) Was I doing this as part of my business vision to take over the Kumon world through IAKF and its affililiates (No again :) simply my joy and delight to get to know people F2F and heart to heart)?

Victor (who is the one who did the wonderful article about Anna and Gien) asked why I was going to Stanley Park when I could participate in an amazing street party with them. I mumbled something about missing the place, as indeed I have since the year I lived there at the age of 8. It was my favourite place in the world yet I have hardly been back at all and it was calling me inexorably.


Victor kindly dropped me to the 19 bus which goes directly to Stanley Park. Before I could embark though I needed more change. I got some at a second hand book store by purchasing a random fifty cent book.but I was still short. Suddenly I heard the clarion sound of  a trumpet and looking across the street I saw a little four man band in traditional hispanic costume doing lively music, so I went to listen for a while. People were standing watching, swaying and dancing and laughing in joy.


I saw a little shop and went in to try to purchase something. The girl was sweet and told me she could give me change so I gave her an american dollar and got four quarters. I was on my way!

The bus ride was about a half an hour through many sights of the city, including the famous Chinatown.  Then we were ... there!

It is very difficult to convey the effect of Stanley Park if you have never been there. 1,000 acres of the most beautiful old growth trees that seem to climb into the sky for miles




and long beach walks and a cricket field and totem poles ...


 and lots of Canada geese ...


fascinating statues including this one


(the cormorants are behind the statue, you can almost see one just to the right)

I walked and walked until my legs were very sore and I had to slowly wend my way back to take the bus back to Michele's place, go out for a pizza, chill with Gaia, pack and taxi back to the airport.

By the time I was at the airport at 11 pm PST I was very tired, cross and sorry for myself. I slept briefly on the plane but then spent most of the flight amusing a baby who felt much sorrier for herself, helping her mom who was past exhausted. I played with her toes, said silly things, sang lullabies and even rocked her to sleep when she could not fight it any longer, and back to sleep on the descent to Toronto when the pressure in her ears woke her screaming. It was just the distraction I needed to stop feeling selfish :)

I arrived in Montreal at 8 am the next morning crankier than ever though and went straight to bed, computer and phone at my side, resting and catching up with my friends and Gaiaing until all the wrinkles were smoothed out of my temper. I didn't go to work and that in and of itself was so what I needed that I felt immensely better just knowing that.

Now, when can I get back to Vancouver? :)

Day two of my Vancouver weekend started, again, very early, chatting with my friend on Yahoo messenger on my Blackberry. And trying to sleep, and chatting… finally it was morning, my sister got up and I could connect properly to the lan, view my friend's cam and hear his voice on the skype. so we did that for a while, me typing quietly because michele was still sleeping.

once she got up, was  able to talk. I got directions from her on how to get to the restaurant in Kitsalano, the Naam, and the morning slipped pleasantly away, gaiaing and then having a nice long nap…

when the time came to head to the Naam to meet Zoey and Andrew , I found the right bus a few blocks away and enjoyed the ride, drinking in the city sights along the way. Just before the restaurant was a delightful little crystals shop. The owner and a customer were having an intense discussion about the viability of the world, etc. I asked to see the rings. Most were too expensive but i found a really lovely one for my pinky, and spent most of my birthday gift money from friend. Began thinking about how i would show it to him via webcam…

I walked up to the Naam and through the window saw someone I thought might be Andrew, but wasn't sure. As I went in, he walked up to me, shook my hand and showed me to the table where he had been waiting, and we dove into conversation together as quickly and easily as if we had been in the middle of a discussion for a long time, and were just continuing it. Which of course, in a way, we were.

After a while, we noticed Zoey wasn't there yet and it was 3:10 but figured she was just a little late. At three-thirty, still engrossed in dialogue, we looked up and there she was. She had been on time waiting in another part of the restaurant all this time! At first, it looked like she would only be there a few minutes, but fortunately we were able to have a really good free-ranging Gaia conversation. We compared notes about people we knew on the website, spoke of how much Gaia worked for us, and time flew quickly until Zoey really had to go. Before she left, though, she had become very excited about getting more involved on the God Pod and even made some notes to herself about interesting people to watch for.

Andrew noticed that the restaurant had a growing line and suggested we move our conversation elsewhere, so we paid (delicious food and so reasonable a price) and went outside. I was in the mood for walking, so we headed for the beach. I thought my heart would stop for joy as I received the full impact of the ocean, the salty air, the happy people out in droves on the first really nice day in June, and the majestic mountains presiding over the whole scene.

I stopped to take a few pictures along the way. Though I was reluctant to tear myself away, at a point it was time to head back to Andrew's car and let him give me a lift back to Michele's apartment. While we were in the car, he shared a song he had co-written for the last band with which he was involved. The music was top notch and I could understand why at that time they were one of the hottest local bands, who played in all the local bars.

For some other songs, look at his myspace page andrewmarkmusic

And we talked and talked and talked the whole time.

There was never a problem thinking of what to discuss.

The only problem was that at the end of the day when I stepped out of the car to go to my temporary home, goodbye was hard for me. But I felt comforted knowing that we will be more in touch now, and these newly-deepened friendships will continue to blossom and grow naturally and freely, as they have with Eric and Lisa and Rich in New Jersey, and Brock in Toronto.

Friday morning, around 1 a.m. EST, So... there I was,   hours before my trip to Vancouver and completely unable to stay asleep. As usual, I started chatting with my friend, and thinking about packing... :) yeah, I travel a lot, so packing is a matter of minutes, just before I leave.

around 3 a.m . In the middle of the relaxed chat,  I suddenly realised I didn't know where a group of membership cheques I had planned to bring to the IAKF Canadian treasurer at the Vancouver meeting were. I started to panic around looking for them but to no avail. Later, I had to fess up and promised to deposit them as soon as I found them. But getting back to Montreal,

6 20 a.m. ish - I had finished packing, showered. I said goodbye, shut off my laptop and got to the airport. Printed boarding pass, got to the  gate, got on the plane, thankfully noted I had three seats to myself and prepared for a nice long sleep.

7:30 am EST to 10:45 a.m. PST - though I was extremely sleep deprived and longing for 5 hours of the deep and dreamless, my mind went into overdrive and suddenly wanted to process about my friend and my "imzadi", so I napped briefly and fitfully and in between rested peacefully, thinking and thinking and trying to find inner balance. It was fruitful but I was still quite tired when we began to approach Vancouver. I gasped with pleasure seeing the Rockies, then the Okanagan Valley and the Lake, and then... the ocean! My excitement at finally being able to enjoy Vancouver for the first time in years began to overtake my fatigue and in due time I de-planed, found my colleague and her husband, and started to chat with them on the way to the meeting.

10:45 a.m. PST:  we arrived at Kumon Happy Learning Centre of Richmond, run by vivacious Vivien Hui. It has nearly 1,100 students now and remains the biggest single centre in North America, so I was curious to see the set up. My membership drive coordinator and Vivien had everything set up when we got there, and people began to show up.

11:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. - the meeting was excellent, very positive and invigorating thanks to a great approach prepared by the membership drive coordinator, who basically ran the bulk of the meeting and helped the small groups work through the questions. The important questions were answered, people committed to join the association and lots of warm fuzzies were freely shared during and after the meeting. We cleaned up, caught up and piled into our cars to leave.

3:45 p.m. - we arrived at my sister's  Lyric school of acting where I needed to pick up the keys for my sister's place. I was sorry to hear when I arrived that they had just had a break-in, and lost some cash as well as a painting that turned out to be Michele's favourite. I got the address and was told where to find a taxi to the apartment. Got there, flagged a taxi and got into the oddest and most entertaining conversation I've ever had with a taxi driver. That's saying a lot, as I try to talk to every taxi driver and sometimes have had really great chats. We actually chatted for a couple more minutes after I arrived, as I could see he was enjoying the interaction as much as I.

late afternoon , evening and night - I relaxed in Michele's lovely apartment on the 8th floor with wonderful views from the huge windows of the city and the mountains, listening to music. I left messages for my friends, talked on the phone to my ex-partner, and had something to eat. When Michele arrived, we caught up a bit, but she was not feeling well at all, very swollen leg and way too tired, so I got out of her way, spent a while with her internet and Gaia, and went to bed.

And couldn't sleep. I chatted on the blackberry awith my friend who by now had slept soundly and long and was bright eyed and bushy tailed. The hours of the night crawled slowly as I tried to sleep, managed briefly, chatted again, tried to sleep again...  right through the end of the day into

Saturday morning - to be continued...

Part the First

The Tour so far -

1) My journey began in Toronto:

Toronto Gaian Conversation April 19, 3:30-7 p.m.

So there I was, at Montana's (funny place for a vegetarian!) waiting for my new friend Sun Warrior....

2)  and continued in Montreal:

Sunday, Glorious Sunday! Go, Zaangha!

Yeah, I was listening to the U2 tape this past week so ...


Like many Montreal restaurants, it had a terrasse, but now with the no smoking laws for inside bars and restaurants, les terrasses often are used by smokers and so I gratefully made my way into the smoke free interior, with its pleasant tables and cheery waitress. When she heard we would be five to seven people, she immediately showed me a large wooden table with carved wooden chairs that seated eight comfortably, near the entrance. Perfect! I was half an hour early so sat down to wait....

3) Next stop was New Jersey

New Jersey Joy!

Stream rich in clay runs through the woods in New Jersey.


The above are just two of the many, many pictures I did not take while in New Jersey. LOL! Sorry, I'm not a photographer, but from the time I left the airport, I have been blown away by the beauty of the Garden State...

First, some humour. I have blindly arranged to meet at the Red Roof Inn, but when the taxi took me there I discovered they have no restaurant! So I laughingly explained this to rederick and
morningstar before they arrived together, and then we chatted as we waited for richtali...

Lisa was a dangerous girl with a video camera and created two videos of us talking and me laughing and laughing, I was so giddy, you can hear me laughing even when the camera is focussed on others. :) Read her new jersey meet blog here including exciting video footage of me rolling around laughing :)

4) Then Back to Montreal for the next Monthly Zaangha:

Montreal second Zaangha meeting - David and his vibe machine

Above is a picture of my new friend David Masson and his vibe machine...

Part the Second

Upcoming stops on the Magical Mystery Tour with Gaians:

1) Vancouver - This Saturday_june_14_3-5_pm_the_naam, in Kitsalano

2) Altamont, Upstate New York - Oldsongs Folk Festival, Saturday , June 21, 6 p.m.

3) San Francisco - somewhere either Wednesday, July 9 or Thursday July 10

4) Los Angeles - Saturday, July 12 sometime somewhere

5) Toronto - Thursday, July 24 in the evening

6) Edinburgh, Scotland - Aug 6, 7, 8 or 9

7) Tokyo, Japan - December 1 or 2

Can you attend any of these? Can you suggest a more specific time and place?
Please offer thoughts or RSVP by responding to this blog!

Above is a picture of my new friend David Masson and his vibe machine

They say life is what happens when you have other plans. Last month, there were six of us at the Zaangha at the delightful Cafe on Ste Catherine's St near University (and the Anglican Cathedral). All were keen to meet again this month. As well, Dovvski was very excited about attending the June meeting as she couldn't come in April, and others expressed interest.

As it turned out, the only one who could meet me yesterday was David Masson, who had wanted to come last time but had to cancel at the last minute due to important family obligations. (Likewise, this time Dovvski had something very sad happen with her family and could not attend. Nicolas and his girlfriend shared their regrets at the last minute, though they had originally planned on being there again.)

As I experienced before when meeting Brock in Toronto, it was just as wonderful as meeting a group, perhaps even more so from my point of view, since I personally prefer one very very deep conversation to several conversations which are great but where you don't have the time to achieve the same depth.

Because it was the first time we were really speaking, we covered the usual basics - what we do for work, our kids, our exes, a little about current relationships (though I now realise that I didn't talk to David about my own current love interest, but that's ok).

David shared with me about the following (this is excerpted from his gaia profile


"VIBE stands for Vibrational Integrated Bio-photonic Energizer. Every atom–whether in a grain of sand or an organ in your body–has a specific resonant frequency or vibratory oscillation. Your body consists of a variety of atoms, which contain protons, electrons, and an overall bio-electric energy. The way we take care of our body physically, emotionally and mentally determines how many “negative” frequencies or toxins accumulate in us. When a body becomes overwhelmed with toxic substances, thoughts or feelings, the positive bio-electric field is immensely lowered in vibration and frequency. The VIBE machine helps bring things back into balance.

"For more information please visit my personal website here."

Interestingly enough, David is also a minister, so has a strong interest in spiritual things, and was intrigued by what I had to say about my God Pod and my life mission. As a dad of an 11 year old girl he was also fascinated as I told him about my Kumon math and reading learning centre.

He loved my idea of incorporating get togethers with Gaians with my business schedule. Though he travels a fair bit, that hadn't occurred to him to try. He found the whole International Association of Kumon Franchisees thing quite cool.

We also spent a lot of time talking about how challenging it is for many people to be in tune with their deepest self and to know their life purpose (which, as synchronicity would have it, was the theme of  the sermon at the church service I attended at that new emergent church West Edge immediately after meeting David.)

We are actually almost neighbours - he lives about a 10-15 min drive from my house, in the next municipality.

He offers the first VIBE session free, so upon his invitation, I determined to make an appointment to check it out before the next Montreal Zaangha meeting, which will be at the same place on

Sunday, July 6, 2-4 pm.

Hope to see you Montreal Gaians there! RSVP by commenting below.

that is, i think i have found my next choir in which to sing! totally awesome! :)

On Sunday, I went to hear Musica Viva. They were performing all Argentinian music, and I was deeply impressed by how well they sang in Spanish, given that they are francophones, and the beautiful sound they had.

Their director, Cristian Gort, was the director of the first concert choir I joined in 2002 or thereabouts. I enjoyed learning Beethoven's Mass in C Major, the Petite Suite Quebecoise and other songs with him, and was sad when he moved on to other activities. But it all worked out for the best because our next director, Martin Dagenais, invited us to hear another of his choirs, Melodium, and I fell so deeply in love with their sound that when he told us they were going to be singing the St Matthew Passion by Bach, I was delighted and hoped to join.

Then I discovered that they would be doing the Rachmaninoff All Night Vespers instead, and since I didn't know that work at the time, I was delaying showing up at rehearsals and missed the first few. When I did start attending, though, I quickly became impassioned with the beauty and wonder of that a cappella choral work,  and asked if i could just sit in on rehearsals and learn it, because i did not have the confidence that I could learn it well enough in the shortened time and with this choir I hero worshipped. Martin agreed.

We quickly both discovered that my gift for memorising music and my hard work made it easy for me not only to catch up to the others, but to commit the entire work to memory and sing it with only the occasional quick glance at the music at the concert. It was a very beautiful experience, April 24 2003 (I think), with soloist Noella Huet, who has a very warm mezzo-soprano voice and charming stage presence.

After singing the Messiah with them a year and a half ago (I've blogged a lot about that if you want to chase further links LOL), I was too depressed and then too preoccupied to even consider. I heard too that they took a year off, and in fact am not sure whether they are active even now.

I had originally thought of waiting until 2009 to join a choir, but listening to Musica Viva with the expert backing of the group Fogon (which means campfire, and which I will hear again on Friday!), I was perched on the edge of my seat with excitement, especially for the showpiece,
the Misa Criolla, and filled with profound longing to be part of this choir.

During the intermission, I found a choir member and asked for the rehearsal times. At first I was sad because she said Mondays at 7 and I work till 7 at least a half hour drive away. But then after the concert I had a much more detailed conversation with a member of the committee and found out that not only does it start at 7:15, but another former choir buddy of mine who lives near where I work is seriously thinking of joining too, so we might car pool together! As the three of us talked, we became more and more excited by the plan, and discussed the pre-season potluck meal where we could meet the choir in a relaxed, convivial atmosphere.

I even heard that the choir might perform the Misa Criolla again in late August, and am considering singing it with them - I've never done it before but the choral parts are quite simple and I should be able to learn it up quickly, since I've listened to it many times and have a feeling for how the alto part goes.

You have to understand, I'm considered a Gaia addict, or devotee :). but my love for choral singing is much much stronger than my love for Gaia. I need to sing, and it's been far too long.
At last, the time of deprivation looks like it's coming to an end.

So, I have loads of wonderful Gaia friends whom I am looking forward to meeting in conjunction with my International association meetings July 8 to 13 in LA and San Francisco. Very exciting.

But do you think that I can get those meetings organised so I can book the tickets?

So far, the answer has been no.

I've been working on this for months, intensively for the past few weeks. I leave voice mails send emails talk to people hear about those who are on vacation or whose centre is not in the right place or who just don't get back to me....

All the other places, Toronto (twice), Vancouver, New Jersey and Houston fell or are falling into place nicely. But the place that everyone on the board keeps telling me is the most critical area in the US... not.

Help! :) Oh well, I will keep making phone calls...