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All Saints Day, the Book of Hours and Julian of Norwich

Posted on Nov 1st, 2009 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Waterfall


My friend Hal blogged about Rilke's Book of Hours in 

Moments of Beholding

and this morning as I happily prepare to celebrate All Saints Day at church with the choir and congregants, I found this poem from the Book of Hours that is so right for me in this exciting, eventful and changeful time of my life, with my Robert:

Ich lebe mein leben im wachsenden Ringen,
die sich über die Dingen ziehen.
Ich werde den letzen vielleicht nicht volbringen,
aber versuchen will ich ihn.

Ich kreise um Gott, um den uralten Turm,
und ich kreise jahrtausendelang;
und ich weiß nocht nicht: bin ich ein Falke, ein Sturm
oder ein großer Gesang.

I live my life in growing rings
which move out over the things around me.
Perhaps I'll never complete the last,
but that's what I mean to try.

I'm circling around God, around the ancient tower,
and I've been circling thousands years;
and I still don't know: am I a falcon, a storm
or a great song.

Rainer Maria Rilke

Robert and I have also been reveling lately in Julian of Norwich, a medieval solitary who inspired Eliot's Little Gidding part V that I always quote and wish to have as my epitaph:

And all shall be well and
All manner of thing shall be well
When the tongues of flame are in-folded
Into the crowned knot of fire
And the fire and the rose are one. 
 
There is a wonderful website on Julian:


Here is Julian on God our Mother:

"It is a lofty understanding inwardly to see and to know that God, who is our maker, dwells in our soul, and it is a still loftier and greater understanding inwardly to see and to know that our soul, which is created, dwells in God's substance. From this substance we are what we are, by God.

I saw no difference between God and our substance, but saw it as if it were all God. And yet my understanding accepted the fact that our substance is in God; that is to say that God is God and our substance is a creature in God. For the Almighty Truth of the Trinity is our Father, for he made us and preserves us in himself; the deep wisdom of the Trinity is our mother, in whom we are enclosed; the lofty goodness of the Trinity is our Lord, and in him we are enclosed and he in us.

We are enclosed in the Father, we are enclosed in the Son, and we are enclosed in the Holy Spirit. The Father is enclosed in us - All-power, All-wisdom, and All-goodness: one God, one Lord." (pages 179-180)

"God, the blessed Trinity, who is everlasting Being, just as he is endless from without beginning, so it was in his endless purpose to make man. This fair nature was first prepared for his own Son, the Second Person of the Trinity, and when he willed it with the full agreement of the whole Trinity, he made us all at once.

In our making he first knitted us and joined us to himself. By this joining we are kept as clean and as noble as we created to be. By virtue of that same previous joining, we love our maker and become like him, praise him and thank him, and endlessly rejoice in him. And this is the work that is wrought continuously in every soul that shall be saved. This is the 'goodly will' I mentioned before.

And thus in our creation God Almighty is our natural father, and God all-wisdom is our natural mother, with the love and goodness of the Holy Spirit. These are all one God, one Lord. In the knitting and joining he is our real, true spouse and we are his loved wife and his fair maiden. ….

In our Father Almighty we have our preservation and our bliss, as far as our natural substance, which we have from our creation without beginning, is concerned. In the Second Person we have our preservation, in wit and wisdom, as far as our sensuality, our restoring and our saving are concerned. For he is our mother, brother and saviour. And in our good Lord the Holy Spirit we have our rewarding and our harvest for our living and our bitter labour, endlessly surpassing all that we desire in his marvellous courtesy from his lofty, plenteous grace.

All our life is in three modes. In the first is our being. In the second we have our increasing. And in the third we have our fulfilling.

The first is nature. The second is mercy. The third is grace....

here for more

 




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True Compassion - your invitation to discuss :)

Posted on Oct 19th, 2009 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Tree

Dearest friends,

I invite you to comment here or over in the God pod here: True Compassion - your invitation to discuss :)

What better place than in a board called Radical acts of compassion to discuss what true compassion is?

This discussion began with a distinction between compassion and idiot compassion in the thread where we were discussing Rush Limbaugh.

I would like to begin by thanking Mascha, mary and others who have recently inspired me to look much more deeply at this issue.

There is a fairly good wiki overview here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compassion:

In the various Hindu traditions, compassion is called DAYA, and, along with charity and self-control, is one of the three central virtues...

Compassion or karuna is at the transcendental and experiential heart of the Buddha's teachings. He was reputedly asked by his secretary, Ananda, "Would it be true to say that the cultivation of loving kindness and compassion is a part of our practice?" To which the Buddha replied, "No. It would not be true to say that the cultivation of loving kindness and compassion is part of our practice. It would be true to say that the cultivation of loving kindess and compassion is all of our practice."...

Compassion for all life, human and non-human, is central to the Jain tradition...

(In the Jewish tradition) Compassion, empathy, altruism, kindness and love are frequently used interchangeably in common usage. When the concept is examined in depth it becomes clear that compassion is more than simply a human emotion. Kabbalah, the Jewish mystical tradition, is particularly clear about this...

 The life of Jesus embodies for Christiansthe very essence of compassion. Christ's example challenges Christians to forsake their own desires and to act compassionately towards others, particularly those in need or distress...

The Muslim scriptures urge compassion towards captives as well as to widows, orphans and the poor. Traditionally, Zakat, a toll tax to help the poor and needy, was obligatory upon all Muslims (9:60). One of the practical purposes of fasting orsawm during the month of Ramadan is to help one empathize with the hunger pangs of those less fortunate, to enhance sensitivity to the suffering of others and develop compassion for the poor and destitute.

So, it would appear that compassion is very, very important across religious traditions. Yet compassion is often absent from religious interactions within communities and from the way that many religious people deal with people of different beliefs.

What is compassion really? How do we become more truly compassionate? What are some of the pitfalls into which we can fall while seeking to be compassionate (i.e. co-dependency, enabling negative behaviours and so on)?

I eagerly look forward to exploring this in depth with you all.

Love,

Nicole

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What has your response been to climate change?

Posted on Oct 15th, 2009 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 15, 2009:

blog action day

blog action day


Yes, in case anyone forgot :) , this is Blog Action Day 2009: Climate Change

So, as always, fascinating to see the different perspectives.

My lifestyle has not yet changed enough. Yes, I continue to recycle, reuse, try to reduce garbage. But I still drive that car. I still have a very large Carbon Footprint

What to do? How to change, really? 

Maybe moving to a smaller community where I can realistically do a lot of errands etc on foot or bike will be part of the answer. Perhaps being with someone who is so whole-heartedly committed to a truly alternative lifestyle will influence me to change further.

I hope so.

I understand there are still those who doubt the validity of climate change. This is a helpful wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientific_opinion_on_climate_change

We cannot know for sure at this time if our efforts will make a difference or if we have already passed the tipping point. But we can at least try, not just for worries of climate change but just because it is far better for our planet.

Such a heartbreakingly beautiful planet, let us cherish her.

lake macdonald by plassphoto




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Blog Action Day 2009 - Thursday October 15

Posted on Oct 7th, 2009 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Blog_action_day

 

Spread the word! Gaia and our beloved Team of Siona, Matthew and the others are proud that we are of the participating sites.

I just registered - will you? See http://www.blogactionday.org/





OCTOBER 15!


4,191 Blogs
123 Countries
10,149,235 Readers




Climate change affects us all and it threatens more than the environment. It threatens to cause famine, flooding, war, and millions of refugees. 

Given the urgency of the issue of climate change and the upcoming international climate negotiations in Copenhagen this December, we think the blogosphere has the unique opportunity to mobilize millions of people around expressing support for finding a sustainable solution to the climate crisis.We encourage you to write about climate change in the context of how it relates to the topic of your blog. 

To help you start thinking, here are a few ideas about how you might connect climate change to things that you might already write about:

A Technology or Business blog might write about emerging clean tech and how innovative companies might be able to help address the problem of climate change.

A Health or Lifestyle blog might write about how climate change will affect our children's health and daily living.A Nonprofit or Political blog might write about how climate change is deeply connected to many other issues - such as poverty and conflict.

A Design blog might write about new trends in eco-friendly or sustainable design.

A Travel blog might write about the places you want to see now before climate change makes them difficult to access or, well, under the sea.

 

Blog Action Day 2009

 


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Under the Mercy, Under the Submission

Posted on Oct 5th, 2009 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
In my long leisurely rambles on the phone with my beloved, I have been reminded several times of the legacy of Charles Williams:

"Charles Walter Stansby Williams (20 September 1886 – 15 May 1945) was a British poet, novelist, theologian, literary critic, and a member of the Inklings.

"Although chiefly remembered as a novelist, Williams also published works of literary criticism, theology, drama, history, biography, and a voluminous number of book reviews. Some of his best known novels are War in Heaven (1930), Descent into Hell (1937), and All Hallows' Eve(1945). T. S. Eliot, who wrote an introduction for the last of these, described Williams’s novels as "supernatural thrillers" because they explore the sacramental intersection of the physical with the spiritual while also examining the ways in which power, even spiritual power, can corrupt as well as sanctify. All of Williams’ fantasies, unlike those of J. R. R. Tolkien and most of those of C. S. Lewis, are set in the contemporary world.

"Although Williams attracted the attention and admiration of some of the most notable writers of his day, including T. S. Eliot and W. H. Auden, his greatest admirer was probably C. S. Lewis, whose novel That Hideous Strength was at the time regarded as entirely inspired by Williams's novels. Williams came to know Lewis after reading Lewis’s recently published study The Allegory of Love; he was so impressed he jotted down a letter of congratulations and dropped it in the mail. Coincidentally, Lewis had just finished reading Williams’s novel The Place of the Lion and had written a similar note of congratulations. The letters crossed in the mail and led to an enduring and fruitful friendship. When World War IIbroke out in 1939, Oxford University Press moved its offices from London to Oxford. Although Williams was reluctant to leave his beloved city, this move did allow him to participate regularly in Lewis’s literary society known as the Inklings. In this setting Williams was able to read (and improve) his final published novel, All Hallows' Eve, as well as to hear J. R. R. Tolkien read some of his early drafts of The Lord of the Ringsaloud to the group. In addition to meeting in Lewis’ rooms at Oxford, they also regularly met at The Eagle and Child pub in Oxford (better known by its nickname "The Bird and Baby"). During this time Williams also gave lectures at Oxford on John Milton and received an honorary M.A. degree."

Under the Mercy


"The grave of Charles Williams in an Oxford churchyard (Holywell*) is marked by a stone bearing his name and the terse description: Poet, followed by the words, Under the Mercy.

"Under the Mercy is a phrase that appears frequently in his writings, as it did in his conversation. He liked to refer to the Divinity by Its Attributes: the Mercy, the Protection, the Omnipotence. In his personal life he seemed always to be clinging to the faith that, balanced as he was upon the knife-edge of his Christian allegiance in the world of myth and magic that his passion-inflamed imagination had conjured up, he would find at last, in death if by no other route, the stillness of the Love of God. It was his wife, Michal, in one of those sudden flashes of crystal-clear insight of which she was not infrequently capable, who chose the inscription on the stone. Nothing could have been more appropriate."

There is another phrase that appears in his book Many Dimensions (1931), which "involves the reappearance of a long-lost talisman, this time the Stone of Solomon, which turns out to have extraordinary powers over space and time (but using the latter has unexpected results!), as well as powers of healing. The book's climax is a kind of judicial hearing by the Lord Chief Justice on what should be done with this thing; justice and law are prominent themes in the book - which is also both a thriller and at times a satire, as various parties try to get their hands on the Stone." This phrase is Under the Submission. Williams seemed to understand deeply the spirit of Islam and how powerful and freeing submission to Allah could be.

Just a heads-up, as I think I will be using these phrases to sign off again, as I did for years as a younger woman. Now you know part of the context. The rest of the context is found for me right now in my relationship with my beloved and others I love, the joyful and mutual self-giving enfolded in divine Grace.




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Finding My True Love At Last

Posted on Oct 2nd, 2009 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Garden
I have been so busy living the joy of being deeply in love with a wonderful, wonderful person that it only just hit me this minute that I have not yet blogged about this very significant turning point in my life.

The first thing I want to say about it is how totally different this love is from other loves I have experienced. I was always the one who pursued, and planned and organised, from the beginning to the end. Though that never worked out, I continued compulsively to carry out this unproductive approach.

This time, I asked the Universe to help me let go of this tendency in me. I opened my heart and my hands and asked simply for the grace to be found by my true love, whoever he might be. I did not make a long shopping list of what I wanted and what I didn`t want. I knew that whoever found me in the natural Universal way would be exactly the right person, at last.

So, what happened was this. I was going to Toronto on business and wanted to get together with Amy while there. Amy invited her friend Liza, then we invited Carole, Tom and Brock (who couldn`t come), and Sheila and Rita (who did come). 

Robert (whom you all know as Just Me here on Gaia) saw that all this planning was going on, and asked to join us. Of course we were delighted, the more the merrier, though I didn`t know much about him. I had seen some of his comments and thought that he seemed wise, but he was a mystery to me.

During our get-together, Robert and I did talk for a bit, but we mostly talked to other people. To be honest, his self-composure and self-contained manner led to my assumption he was married, so without even being conscious of it, I automatically held him at arms` length, polite and kind but not too warm.

The next few days were intensely busy for me with work commitments but in between of course I was eager to connect with those I had just met, Amy, Rita, Sheila, and... when I got to Robert, I felt a bit puzzled. I realised that I had not heard him say anything about his family. So I emailed him and asked, and from his reply realised he was no longer married, and had been through a lot. We exchanged a few emails and then on Friday he called me and we spoke for nearly seven hours and as they say - the rest  is history.

In all our long conversations on the phone, in the exchange of emails with heartsharings and poems and music we love, we have grown closer together than seems humanly possible in such a short time.

I am experiencing profound gratitude and joy and wonder about it all.

Only 14 days to go before he arrives here for the weekend! Soon I will be counting the hours :)
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Gaia Meet Up At Amy's In Brampton (Toronto)!

Posted on Sep 26th, 2009 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
It is hard to believe that it has been a week since I drove to Brampton to see Amy and everyone. So much has happened since, so in a sense it feels like much longer. 

But at the same time, I have been longing to blog about it for all this time, so it seems amazing it took me this long. But it has been crazy busy so I just couldn't get to it earlier.

So, first of all, I tend to get lost in and around Toronto. The drive there in my new old 2005 Toyota Echo, just acquired a few days before, looking much like this:

toyota echo

was uneventful, but somehow I forgot that last time I used Google maps for directions, I ran afoul of a limitation - it doesn't tell you which way to turn at certain exits. So once having exited the 401, I wandered around, asking directions at the gas station etc. Showed up at Amy's feeling rather frazzled, but graciously greeted by her, her husband and dear Rita and her Barnie.

Rita!

(above photo taken by Amy's son, Darwin)

And the fun began. :)

We sat around in the living room talking and talking. It is always so lovely the way that one meets Gaians for the first time and just skips over the preliminaries, moving straight to the good conversations. Amy had lots of delicious snacks and goodies to munch on, and a beautiful and very welcoming house. I settled into the cosy couch, nibbled and talked and enjoyed the pleasure of just being there.

(Photos below were taken by Amy and Rita)

living room

(myself and Sheila on the couch, Amy's hubby Ray in the foreground)

gaia gorgeous

(left to right: Liza, Rita and Amy)

As the afternoon wore on, others came to join us: Robert and Liza and Sheila. At first, the guys were hanging out together outside while the women, out of consideration for my sensitivity to the cool weather (wasn't that bad but being a tropical flower, I tend to gravitate strongly to the warm :) ), sat around the living room and got to know each other.

more gaia gorls

(left to right: Liza, myself, Rita and Sheila)

We also got to meet Amy's two children, her daughter ever so briefly but her son for more time. Last time I had met Amy, last summer, we had gotten together at a restaurant in Toronto, so it was a great joy for me to see her in her natural element. Everything about her spoke of her pleasure in her home, her family and extending hospitality to us. She is truly the hostess with the mostest :)

Eventually the guys started to migrate inside, and at one point all six of us Gaians found ourself sitting around, being skilfully led by Robert in a spontaneous sharing exercise about how we first found Gaia. Fascinating to hear the very different stories from each person there.

posing moment


(Amy, Liza and Robert)

We had originally planned to go out to a restaurant but we were so comfy at the house that we clamoured to order in, and accordingly just at the right time delicious Indian/Chinese dishes arrived apparently by magic :) and we sat around the dining room table and the adjacent sitting room digging in. 

dinner again


(in this picture above, we see Rita's hubby, Barnie, at the far right)
first supper


One of the conversations that impressed me the most was a discussion between Rita and Robert about the inner abyss, the endlessness of the spiritual journey.  Robert brought up the experience of Elie Wiesel and his account of his experience with the Holocaust in the book Night

Six hours after I arrived, people began gently to drift out the door, one by one. Time is such an amazingly fluid thing, none of us could believe how quickly the day had gone. 

rob and nic


I felt strongly that this was not the end but the beginning (or in the case of Amy, continuation) of several face to face friendships that would be deeply significant in my life.   


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What I was doing this time last year, or celebrating 3 yrs on ZG!

Posted on Sep 14th, 2009 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Trunk_bay_virgin_islands_by_50_chanceofrain
I saw today's Q and R and really didn't remember what I was doing last year this time, so went to my September 2008 blogs and remembered - 

Turning this many! (waving 2 fingers)


September 14, 2008 was the day during my prolonged celebration of being 2 years old on ZaadzNowGaia when my dear friend willowinthewind (Jeannie) said this:

"Yes yesyesyes sister-in-heart!  This community as a whole and all the smaller circles of community are a profound source of inspiration to me too!  I am stretched pulled expanded, don't even recognize my own bone structure so much anymore, because of the wondrous inspiration of YOU and everyone here.  Wow.  Deep bows.  Peace.  And oceans of love!"

There is a tenderness in me thinking of Jeannie always these days because what she has been going through in companioning her mother dying... How beautifully and lovingly she is doing it...

So, last year I summed up the first two years on ZNG - what has happened this year?

Well, last fall I attempted to reintegrate into my church community, and failed. So I kept busy with work and association matters, and eventually went to Japan in December - see  Impressions of Japan, or Kaleidoscope (edit one)


after which I fell into my usual seasonal affective disorder slump and only blogged three times until June - about coming back again and again to the same dream, about the death of our beloved cat Splat, and about the first anniversary of the God Pod.

I started to get busy again with association work in April with a Toronto meeting (this was one of the only times I have traveled recently without even attempting a Gaia meetup, which reflects the inward mode I was still in), but it took me a while to get truly into gear. 

My next blog was Birthday Joy!

But it wasn't until late June and the breaking off for the last time with my ex-partner that I began to feel truly alive and powerful again. You can see this in the July, August and September blogs, where I am writing poetry again, passionately living music and in the midst of Gaia meets in New Jersey, Dayton and Toronto (planning Vancouver and Nashville in November and December), association work and lots and lots of contact with friends.

Life is so very very very good. 

The image used is from the Virgin Islands, where I plan to go on a company-sponsored retreat in late April-early May... many many exciting plans!

Love to you all!
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More trips, more Gaia meets! Vancouver and Nashville

Posted on Sep 13th, 2009 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Nicole003
(this is a picture of me enhanced by boogie :) )

It was lovely meeting Darrell - Moneynot - and his wife when I was in Dayton, Ohio, last weekend with my friend, and I am 
very much looking for to meeting my Ontario friends this coming weekend in Brampton

So, now I am having fun planning two other Gaia meets. The first one will be in Vancouver, Canada, either on Friday November 20 or Saturday November 21 (or both! lol) and the second in Nashville sometime in December.

I am hoping to see andrew and Zoey  again, and possibly Terrill  and arpita  for the first time, at the Vancouver meeting(s).

And maybe other people? Who knows?

In Nashville, looking forward to seeing  Zennie and starlight as well as, all going well, boogie and  Hal and maybe others too!

Life is so interesting these days...

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Fire of Life

Posted on Sep 3rd, 2009 by Nicole : wakingdreamer Nicole
Forest Flowers

fire
burns in my veins

each sound
picture
thought
touches me deeply

tears are never far

it has been long
since I have been so alive

joyful

content

excited to see what each day brings

Praise! Glory to the One
Who makes all things new

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Tagged with: fire, life, tears, joy, praise, glory
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